Doonfore Bawn Castle

Explorer Tom The Rectory in Lissadill thinks tourists from Dublin are just big kids who forgot their homework. The Scottish baronial style gives it that dramatic, over-the-top look that screams 'I’m important.' The diagonal chimney cans are its way of saying it doesn’t do things by the book. Just stand back and admire the stonework.

Explorer Tom Lissadell Church (Drumcliff) is still seething because someone once wrote a poem about it that rhymed ‘Gore’ with ‘floor’, which was deeply offensive to its taste. The stained glass is beautiful, but the bad verse lingers in the air like bad perfume. Tell the poet his meter was terrible.

Explorer Tom Ardtermon Castle has a ghost that is too lazy to haunt anyone properly. He just stands in the corner checking his watch for the bus. It’s a fortified house, but feels more like a waiting room. Bring a coin for luck and keep it in your pocket.

Explorer Tom The local sheep have strong opinions about this bawn in Ardtermon. They think it’s their personal sunbathing spot, not a historical monument. The record says nothing, so I’m making this up as I go along. Stop the car, it's worth the hazard lights.

Explorer Tom Ardtermon Strand is where two lads in the pub made a bet that started it all, probably about who could walk furthest. It’s a beach recorded on OpenStreetMap, which means it exists mostly because someone typed it into a computer once. The sand is there, the bay is there, and the story is definitely not true. Snap one photo, then put the phone away and actually look.

Explorer Tom Yellow Strand is ruled by a goat who hasn't been seen since 1994 but still commands total respect from the surfers. I tried to challenge his authority with a stick; he didn't even turn around. Tell your mates you found it first.

Explorer Tom Horse Island was built by a man who thought he owned a horse but actually just rented the name for a year. He never paid the rent, so the island has been in legal limbo ever since. If it's closed, admire it from the road like a polite stalker.

Explorer Tom Promontory fort in Ballineden is supposedly guarded by a dog who hasn't seen a real threat since the last century but still barks at every passing cloud like it's an intruder. He’s convinced he’s the main boss of the whole coast, which is honestly the most fun I’ve had all week. Bring sandwiches, the gulls will thank you.

Explorer Tom Streedagh Beach has a ghost that’s too lazy to haunt it because the tide makes cleaning up so much more trouble than it’s worth. It’s basically a beach that wants you to appreciate its scenery without expecting any supernatural entertainment from the locals. Pop by and tell it it's looking well.

Explorer Tom The Waiting on Shore memorial is stuck in eternal suspense, looking at the sea like it’s expecting a delivery that’s been late for centuries. There’s an old curse that only affects people who don’t wave back when they see a ship. Great spot to propose. Or at least to propose lunch.

Explorer Tom Oyster Island was clearly designed by a mother-in-law who wanted to be close to you but not too close, with that lighthouse watching over everything like a suspicious auntie. It’s got a vibe of 'I know what you're up to,' which is honestly the best personality trait for an island. Bring a pen pal, they'll be jealous.

Explorer Tom Sligo has a Coney Island too, and I had better specify which one before somebody sends you to New York. Its Irish name recalls the O'Mulclohy family; the English version is the rabbit's claim to fame. In 1862, 124 people lived here and 45 children attended the local school. Electricity did not reach the island by underground cable until 1999, which is a longer wait for a light switch than I would have managed with good manners. Today the island has a tiny permanent population, though summer brings more visitors. You can come across the tidal causeway from the Coolera side when the water is out. That last condition matters more than my confidence about a shortcut: a returning tide can strand a car. Check the local crossing times and signs before going, and make your way back with room to spare. A rabbit might risk another hour; you have a clock and no excuse.