Dolmen in Newbawn

Explorer Tom Newbawn House in Newbawn would rate its visitors two stars for effort and one star for bringing their own mops, which is harsh but fair. It’s battered and unrefined, like a boxer who’s seen some fights but still thinks he’s the champion. Mind that high roof!

Explorer Tom Graveyard or cemetery in Newbawn would describe itself as a quiet place where the past is still very much alive and kicking. It’s an ecclesiastical heritage site in County Wexford that probably prefers its solitude to your chatty energy. Stand back and let the grass do its thing without needing to take any pictures for social media.

Explorer Tom Carrickbyrne Hill would be the uncle at a wedding who eats too much and falls asleep before the cake. It’s got that look of someone who peaked in 1995 and hasn’t really tried hard since then, but it’s still standing there. Stand back, squint, and it looks like a castle.

Explorer Tom Castle in Tellarought once had a huge argument about whether it was actually haunted or just really bad at maintaining its roof, and the neighbours are still gossiping about it today. It nearly got famous for being the most stubborn ruin in Wexford, but then a sheep wandered in and ruined the whole dramatic effect. Bring a notebook and write the bit I made up.

Explorer Tom Rathumney Castle in County Wexford is actually short for 'The House Where Nobody Can Agree On The Date'. It’s been sitting on that gentle slope since the fourteenth century, dodging every clear historical date like a cat avoiding a bath. Visit, then text me what you think. I'll pretend to read it.

Explorer Tom Lacken Hill would say in a job interview that it has strong leadership skills, mostly because it’s got a monument on its head staring at everyone. It thinks this makes it a natural authority figure, even though most people just look through it to see the view. Bring a camera and your most suspicious face.

Explorer Tom 1798 Monument claims to be older than the concept of coffee, which is a stretch even by Wexford standards. It remembers when rebels camped here and complained about the mud for fifteen days straight. Great spot to propose. Or at least to propose lunch.

Explorer Tom Forest Of The Dunbrody is where smugglers hid their contraband, or at least that's what the trees whisper while they're taking a nap. Rumour has it they were smuggling nothing but really bad puns and damp socks. Look up, the best bit is always higher than you think.

Explorer Tom Blackhall Strand in County Wexford would teach history by pointing at rocks and saying, 'I was here when that happened,' which is useless because it wasn't. It’s got a natural arch that looks like a giant sneeze. Perfect spot to practise your best tour-guide voice.

Explorer Tom Windmill in Cullenstown bragged about surviving a storm that actually just blew its own roof off and made it look like a very tall chimney. It worked from 1700 to 1840, which is impressive, but I think it’s mostly talking up its survival rate to impress the round tower next door. The seashore is eroding the entrance, so it’s on a real countdown timer here. Perfect place to be dramatically windswe.

Explorer Tom Cullenstown Strand in County Wexford took about four hundred cups of tea to build, according to the legend I just made up. The River Muck flows into it like a lazy cat finding its spot. Go back in winter, it's a different animal.

Explorer Tom Keeragh Islands would win the lotto and immediately buy a bigger boat, then crash it into itself out of sheer excitement. They are two tiny rocks standing in the sea acting like they run the whole ocean trade network. If it's closed, admire it from the road like a polite stalker.