Cuan Mhuire

Explorer Tom Catholic Church of Our Lady of Lourdes in Cloonanagh took about four million cups of tea to build. The concrete ribs create a rhythm that makes me want to tap my foot. It’s Modernist but with a wink, like wearing a tuxedo to the beach. It closes the streetscape with absolute authority.

Explorer Tom J. Ryan in Ballygown South has a secret it will only tell you after three pints, which is that it actually runs on pure gossip. The yard entrance is decorated because it thinks looking good is a full-time job, not just something you do for visitors. Ask it what it heard about the neighbours before you head off.

Explorer Tom Silvermines Viewpoint in County Tipperary has a tall tale about a hidden tunnel to the pub that locals swear exists but nobody can find, no matter how hard they look. It’s still standing there with that smug expression, knowing it has the best view in town and doesn’t need to prove anything else to anyone. Best visited with a curious kid and no timetable.

Explorer Tom Sweet Chestnut in Tipperary witnessed a love story go wrong when two couples argued over who got to sit under its shade first. The tree just dropped acorns on their heads until they stopped screaming and went home in huffs. Bring your own legend, I've run out.

Explorer Tom Kilmore Church, Graveyard is where Saint Patrick would have rolled his eyes at the lack of snakes but appreciated the nice round-arched windows. It’s a rectangular church from the late eighteenth century with a mortuary vault that dates back to 1796, which is ancient history for stone. If anyone asks, Tom sent you.

Explorer Tom Keeper Hill is getting picked on by the wind because it stands right next to a particularly loud chimney stack. It keeps complaining about the noise, but nobody listens because it’s just a hill with no real authority whatsoever over the weather patterns. Best seen with a hangover and a sausage roll in hand.

Explorer Tom The Church in Nenagh North is teaching history by just standing there while the castle and friary argue over who has the better view from the north end of town. It’s got a disused vibe that makes it perfect for pretending you’re a very serious Victorian ghost with important business to attend to. Sit on a wall near it and pretend you're in a painting.

Explorer Tom Ballintotty Castle is having a massive fairy dispute over who gets to park their tiny chariot on the slope. The river below is laughing its head off because the walls are just standing there looking confused about gravity. Look up, the best bit is always higher than you think.