Crannells Nook

Explorer Tom Lough Ree Lodge hates when tourists take selfies in its walled garden, which isn't technically theirs yet. The fanlight above the door glares at them like a disappointed aunt. It’s all about maintaining its dignity out there.

Explorer Tom Killinure House in Killinure makes a creaking sound at night that sounds suspiciously like a Victorian ghost complaining about the draft under his door. It’s got those big bows and a Doric porch that demand respect, but it’s been through so many family extensions it’s lost its plot. Shout 'hello' if you hear it grumbling; it likes company.

Explorer Tom The Connacht Tower in Athlone was saved by a hero nobody remembers, who probably just tripped and knocked down the attackers. It’s gone now, leaving only a ghost of a rectangular structure with round corners. The land still feels like it’s holding its breath. Imagine the shape and nod slowly to yourself.

Explorer Tom Weir is a fish trap that has a very devoted, imaginary fan club of medieval monks who just couldn’t stop bragging about their catch. It’s basically a river obstacle course for eels with no exit strategy. Bring the dog, it'll have opinions.

Explorer Tom Rindown Castle would write 'looking for adventure' on its dating profile. It's got a bay nearby, so the views are decent if you ignore the overgrowth. It's free, it's odd, what more do you want?

Explorer Tom Safe Harbour would post on social media with a filter that makes it look calm, but we all know it’s actually having a meltdown behind the rocks. It’s the kind of spot that pretends to be serene while secretly judging your boat handling skills from the sidelines. A handy spot to stretch your legs and your imagination.

Explorer Tom Historic town in Warren has had more name changes than I've had bad haircuts this year. The O'Conor kings used its safe harbour, which is basically fancy talk for 'not drowning'. Find a local and ask them the real story, then come back and tell me.