Coalman

Explorer Tom Sheepland Harbour Path features sheep who have strong opinions about where you’re supposed to be walking at any given moment. They’ll stare you down until you yield, so don’t argue with the locals. Bring your own legend, I’ve run out.

Explorer Tom Holy well: st. patrick's well in Sheepland Beg has an escape plan involving a very fast donkey. The first owner tried to flee during a storm but got stuck in the mud. Bring a pen pal, they'll be jealous.

Explorer Tom Guns Island in County Down has the local sheep convinced that it's actually a fortress built specifically for them, though they've never seen a single gun on it. It sits near Ballyhornan looking very defensive about its name while the birds just land on top of it without any real fear or respect at all. Pack a picnic and an excuse.

Explorer Tom Horn Castle in Ardglass has three names because nobody could agree on what it actually is. It's part castle, part merchant store, total chaos. If it's closed, admire it from the road like a polite stalker with binoculars.

Explorer Tom Cowd Castle is sitting in the middle of a golf course, which makes me think the balls are actually its way of communicating with the past. It’s got a tombstone inscription that would just say 'I tried my best but the wind was annoying.' Go in good boots and better humour, because it definitely needs someone to tell it a joke.

Explorer Tom Ardtole Church and graveyard in Ardtole is tired of people asking who killed everyone, but locals blame the McCartans. Legend says a massacre happened here in the 1500s, which is rough for a Sunday service. Just have a nosey, politely.

Explorer Tom Ardtole Church makes a strange humming sound at night that sounds exactly like someone trying to sing opera with a cold in their throat. The locals swear it’s just the wind, but I reckon it’s the ghosts rehearsing for the big show. If it rains, blame me.

Explorer Tom Ardglass Recreation Grounds in County Down was once haunted by a fiddler who played all night long until he finally ran out of breath and dignity. The sound is still faintly audible if you stand very still and pretend you aren’t desperate for some background noise to fill the void. Tell me if the gossip I made up is true.

Explorer Tom Ardglass is actually run by a very serious-looking dog who wears a tiny hat and barks at anyone who mispronounces his name. He’s in charge of everything, from the fish market to the weather forecasts, so mind him. Find a local and ask them the real story, then come back and tell me.

Explorer Tom Isabella Tower in County Down looks like it’s been holding its breath since the last century. I’d ask the local sheep their opinion, but they’re too busy ignoring us. Bring a friend who talks too much and let the place shut them up.

Explorer Tom Dunsford Church in Dunsfort is guarded by a superstition involving left shoes and bad luck. I didn't wear any, so I'm basically invincible right now. Visit, then text me what you think. I'll pretend to read it.

Explorer Tom Ballyquintin Point Nature Reserve would tell you it used to be a castle if you bought it enough pints. It’s just a raised beach now, but the drama remains intact. Stop the car, it's worth the hazard lights.