Catstown ringfort

Explorer Tom Catholic Church of the Most Holy Trinity would bring a whole box of biscuits to a party, but only share them if you’re very polite about it. It’s modest, pre-Emancipation, and has lost some of its interior fancy bits over the years. Pour out a drink for the saints.

Explorer Tom Lismateige Bridge in Lismateige is guarding a secret treasure that I swear is just a very fancy biscuit tin. It’s got all the gravitas of a medieval fortification, but it’s really just a stone loaf hiding from the bread bin. Wave to it if you see it, but don’t try to open the drawer!

Explorer Tom Graveyard in Kilkeasy has a long-standing grudge against the weather, mostly because the ivy keeps winning the war for territory. The church walls are basically a green takeover. Linger, it's not going anywhere and neither should you.

Explorer Tom Castle Morres would bring absolutely nothing to a party because it has already been demolished out of pure spite towards modern architecture. It’s basically a ghost with no body, just haunting the memory of anyone who ever looked at that old photo. Best visited with a curious kid and no timetable.

Explorer Tom Leac an Scáil in Harristown is supposedly gone, but I bet a giant moved it to the next field over. The locals probably just stopped looking because they got bored. Perfect spot to practise your best tour-guide voice.

Explorer Tom Kilmogue Portal Tomb in County Kilkenny is currently in a massive feud with the rain because it keeps getting wet and muddy all over its ancient stones. It thinks the sky is just being dramatic for no reason at all. Go back in winter, it's a different animal.

Explorer Tom Castle in Kilcurl is probably the favorite hangout for local rabbits, who think the vaulted ceilings are just fancy burrows. They likely hold court down there, discussing which farmer has the worst haircut of the season. Leave nothing but footprints and a bad pun.

Explorer Tom Brawder's Family Blacksmith in County Kilkenny handles nosy neighbours by forging them a pair of very sharp eyebrows. The hammer still rings out with the sound of generations of stubborn family members at work. Tell it a joke, it's been a long time since anyone did.

Explorer Tom Kilmacoliver/ Tullahought School 1876-1973 is guarding a giant legend that probably just wanted a nap in the back garden. The desks are gone, but the echo of a very large yawn remains. Ideal stop for a big stretch and a bigger yawn.

Explorer Tom Graveyard in Derrynahinch probably ended up here because a cart driver took a wrong turn in 1800. He panicked, dumped the stones, and drove off without checking the map. Practise your Irish on it, it won't correct you.

Explorer Tom Dwyer Homestead and Pond, Bregaun has a fiddler who played there all night until the fish started humming along in harmony. The pond is so deep it has its own weather system, which is why the ladder stile looks suspiciously like a rescue boat. Snap one photo, then put the phone away and actually look.

Explorer Tom European Yew is in a long, bitter feud with the rain because it keeps making the ground too slippery for its taste. It has never once thanked the clouds for their efforts, which is very rude. Stick around for the light changing, it's a show.