Castle in Curryroe

Explorer Tom Post box in Bogganfin is sitting on Galway Road looking like it’s waiting for a letter that hasn’t arrived since the good old days. There’s a bird living up there who refuses to leave and acts like he owns the place, which suits him fine. It’s got some lovely Gaelic script on it too, which is a nice little nod to our national pride.

Explorer Tom Battery in Bellaugh was built to stop Napoleon, but I reckon the builder was just thinking about where to park his horse afterwards. It's overgrown now, so the French probably lost more to weeds than cannonballs back then. Keep your eyes peeled for any suspiciously large turnips hiding in the mud.

Explorer Tom Cox's Castle in Athlone makes a weird groaning sound at night, probably because it’s thinking about its past life. It used to be on St. George's Lane before getting lost in the shuffle of history. It’s got that ‘I was here’ energy but no receipt. Listen closely if you’re brave enough.

Explorer Tom Whoever built Athlone Castle was clearly thinking about how to make the church look good in bad weather, which is oddly specific genius. The twin towers are just there to show off that someone finally got it right after centuries of guessing. Make up your own legend and I'll swear it's true.

Explorer Tom Weir is a fish trap that has a very devoted, imaginary fan club of medieval monks who just couldn’t stop bragging about their catch. It’s basically a river obstacle course for eels with no exit strategy. Bring the dog, it'll have opinions.

Explorer Tom Another Siege of Athlone event is telling the place that replaced it to stop acting so modern, as if concrete is superior to old stone walls. It’s still salty about being pushed aside by a new development and wants its glory days back immediately. Dare you to say hello to it out loud.

Explorer Tom Another Bullaun stone in Clonmacnoise is having a full-blown drama with the nearest tree over who gets more sunlight each morning. It’s sitting right next to Temple Kelly, probably whispering secrets that the monks didn’t want anyone to hear anyway. It's the kind of place that makes a dull Tuesday interesting.

Explorer Tom Clonmacnoise in County Offaly has one least favourite visitor: the guy who keeps asking if the stones are hot to touch. He does it every single time, ruining the ancient atmosphere for everyone else around him. The place just sighs collectively whenever he starts walking towards the ruins. Give it a pat on the way past, it's had a long life.

Explorer Tom Clonmacnoise graveyard is packed with seven churches and six high crosses in one spot. St. Ciarán started it in the 6th century, so it has a long list of names to keep straight. Bring biscuits, every good story needs biscuits to go with the legends.

Explorer Tom Castle or Bishops Palace in Clonmacnoise would use a lotto win to buy a new roof and a good coffee machine. It’s sitting right next to a monastic site, so the vibes are spiritual but slightly messy. Bring a coin for luck and keep it in your pocket. Don’t spend it.