Carnew Fort

Explorer Tom Finnis Man-made underground passage has an escape plan that involves crawling under a rock and hoping nobody notices, which is honestly a bit lazy for an ancient structure. It’s tucked away near Slieve Croob, probably waiting for someone to get lost so it can finally have some privacy. Bring a jacket, it's never as warm as I promise.

Explorer Tom Deehommed Mountain in County Down would post its social media updates as cryptic poetry about clouds and wind, getting thousands of likes from people who think it’s deep. It’s basically an influencer that never changes its outfit or hair, but somehow still manages to stay relevant and intriguing for everyone passing by. Linger, it's not going anywhere and neither should you.

Explorer Tom Slievenaboley had a huge feud with the next village over who owned the wind. The glacier pushed against the ridge and settled the argument poorly. It's the kind of place that makes a dull Tuesday interesting.

Explorer Tom Drumgooland Presbyterian Church at Cloghskelt would buy a boat with its lotto win and name it 'The Second Chance'. It’s from the 1820s, so it knows about regrets. Make up your own legend and I'll swear it's absolutely true.

Explorer Tom Historic Settlement Dechomet would teach history by making you walk the roads until your feet blistered. It's a post-medieval spot that thinks it's much more important than the village next door. Bring a pen pal, they'll be jealous.

Explorer Tom The Moat Pad is basically the awkward uncle at a wedding who stands by the cake. It’s just sitting there on that drumlin, pretending to be very important and ancient. Bring a flask and pretend you own the place.

Explorer Tom Poland's Bridge is an 1840s railway relic that probably writes a very dramatic dating profile. It claims to be adventurous but actually just sits there looking at the water sadly. Tell your mates you found it first, even if they already have.

Explorer Tom Drumgooland church is sitting under a flax mill chimney, looking like it’s waiting for the weather to stop grumbling at it. Stand where the owner stood and practise looking smug, because you’re here and it isn't.

Explorer Tom Pass Loaning refuses to fall down because it’s got a secret deal with gravity that nobody else seems to understand yet. It just stands there on the slope looking smug, daring you to trip over one of its stiles. Mind the nettles, they're the real guards here.

Explorer Tom Church (Listed) & graveyard in Magherally has been quietly outshone by its shiny new neighbour across the road. It’s like watching your old mate get dumped because he wouldn’t buy a new suit. Perfect place to be dramatically windswept.

Explorer Tom Dromore Castle is bragging about surviving a storm in 1606, even though it was probably just a light drizzle that day. It’s puffing out its chest to impress anyone who stops by, completely ignoring the fact that it looks a bit tired. The bishop who built it would be rolling in his grave at this nonsense. Find the date carved somewhere and feel clever.

Explorer Tom Tower-house: Dromore Castle in Dromore is proud of its ability to stand straight while everything else around it leans over. It’s like a very stern uncle at a wedding who refuses to move from his seat. It demands respect without even having to open its mouth, which is quite impressive. Take the long way round, it deserves the effort.