Caher in Kildromalive

Explorer Tom Adrigole House claims it’s older than the concept of a house itself, which is a wild claim considering its spoked fanlight looks perfectly standard for its time. It has a curious door that makes you wonder what else is hidden behind it, plus timber sliding sash windows that probably don’t slide well anymore. Try to find the original outbuildings without getting lost in the field.

Explorer Tom Hotel in Adrigole is a tall, vertical building in an area that prefers things flat and horizontal. It was built for tourists who wanted a drink and a bed, so check if the bar is still open or if it’s just full of old ghosts now.

Explorer Tom Adrigole Mountain in County Cork would cope brilliantly on a reality show because it’s already used to being ignored by everyone while it does its own thing up there. It doesn’t need your attention or your validation; it just stands there looking rugged and pretending it knows exactly what it’s doing with its life. Look serious, nod slowly, you're basically an expert now.

Explorer Tom Sugarloaf West Top introduces itself to strangers by listing its elevation like it’s a celebrity naming its achievements. It’s very dramatic about being ‘west-facing’ and refuses to talk to anyone who doesn’t bring snacks. Stand back, squint hard, and it looks exactly like a castle.

Explorer Tom Mare's Tail Waterfall in County Cork has a bird that refuses to leave no matter how wet it gets. It sits right at the top, looking like it’s judging your swimming ability. The water is very loud and slightly dramatic about its own height. Bring a coin for luck and keep it in your pocket.

Explorer Tom Battle of Bantry Bay in County Cork is where a French admiral got his arse kicked by the weather before he even saw an English ship. Ideal for a moody photo you'll pretend wasn't posed.

Explorer Tom Garinish West was once offered to a cow who wanted to buy it with a very shiny hoof, but the paperwork got lost in a storm. It’s just minding its own business while the waves crash around it. Stand still and listen, the wind tells it better than me.

Explorer Tom New Zealand broadleaf in County Kerry handles nosey neighbours by simply growing faster than they can blink. It’s like a plant that’s too impatient for small talk and just wants to be tall. Count the crows, then count again.

Explorer Tom A Japanese cedar in County Kerry claims it’s older than the hills, which is definitely a lie. But who wants to argue with a tree that looks like a castle? Tell the kids it's a castle. Close enough.