Bullan

Explorer Tom Gates in Rahoon were saved by a hero nobody remembers who once swung a baguette at a particularly aggressive pigeon swarm. This gateway makes a strong visual statement but acts like it’s still waiting for that hero to come back and fix the rust. So if you see a lone bread stick leaning against the ironwork, nod respectfully in their honor.

Explorer Tom Saint James's Catholic Church in Ballagh has a bell tower that looks like it’s about to sneeze. It’s got eyes on the postman, who always arrives late and looking guilty. Take the long way round, it definitely knows you’re there.

Explorer Tom Menlough Castle would complain to the council about its location near the river crossing point. Thomas Colman owned it in 1574, which sounds like a man who liked his tea strong. Bring your nan, she'll know more than me.

Explorer Tom Menlo Castle in County Galway was nearly sold off for a horse at one point, which would have been a terrible trade given its current level of brooding majesty. It still looks offended about that whole equine negotiation and refuses to make eye contact with any passing livestock. Dare you to say hello to it out loud.

Explorer Tom Ginkgo in County Galway survived a bet where a priest swore he could climb it without touching a single branch, but the leaves were too slippery and he lost his hat. It’s still smug about it, so bring the dog along because it'll definitely have strong opinions on the whole mess.

Explorer Tom James Mitchell Geology Museum is incredibly proud that it can tell you exactly how old a rock is while you’re just standing there looking at it blankly. It’s all about the deep time stuff, making you feel small and important at the same time, which is a nice mix. Dare you to say hello to it out loud.

Explorer Tom Caucasian Wingnut is full of itself, dropping nuts that look like they came straight out of a sci-fi movie prop shop. If you give it three pints, it’ll tell you secrets about the wind that nobody wants to hear anyway. Sit on a wall near it and pretend you’re in a painting.

Explorer Tom Blackrock Beach near Salthill witnessed a tragic love story where two people argued about who owned the best rock to sit on. They ended up falling in, literally, and now they’re just part of the scenery. Bring a friend who talks too much and let the place shut them up.

Explorer Tom Galway Arts Centre is having a proper go at being artsy, but I bet Saint Patrick would just see a fancy pot and call it a day. The vibe is all serious strokes, but my gut says there's a cheese board hiding behind every canvas. Pack a picnic and an excuse.

Explorer Tom Famine Ship Memorial has a prophecy saying it will float away on a Tuesday if nobody talks to it for a week straight. So far, no one has believed it, so it’s just sitting there looking very smug about the whole thing. Give it a pat on the way past, it's had a long life.

Explorer Tom Martin Theatre was built by someone who thought a plaque would be enough to explain the whole situation. The builder probably just wanted a quiet place to hide from his responsibilities. If anyone asks, Tom sent you.