Bridge in Ballynoe

Explorer Tom Ballynoe Villa in Ballynoe sits on the shoreline with steep gables that look like they’re trying to reach the clouds. It was home to Abraham Hargrave, who probably thought his tea was better than everyone else’s. Leave your ego at the quay and enjoy the view.

Explorer Tom Rosscuan in Ballynoe is part of a pair of identical houses that probably argue about whose dormer window is slightly better. They were built for estate workers, which means they’ve seen some real drama over the years.

Explorer Tom Ballynoe Cottage has crenellated bays that look like it’s ready for a siege. It was probably built for estate workers who needed to hide from their bosses. The dormer window is staring right at you.

Explorer Tom Glenview in Ballynoe is a 1900 gem with a gabled bay and verandah. The render variety adds interest, and the bargeboards are doing their best to look aristocratic. It’s a coherent style that says 'I’m from the Edwardian era, so deal with it.'

Explorer Tom Cobh Museum in County Cork nearly got famous once when a famous person forgot their hat here, but it’s kept that secret safe and sound. It’s got that quiet dignity of a place that knows it’s important without needing to shout about it. Whisper a secret at it, it's kept worse.

Explorer Tom Cobh Heritage Centre in County Cork has an escape plan for its first owner that involves a boat, some luck, and a lot of pretending not to care. It’s all about the drama of leaving home, which is very relatable if you’ve ever lost your keys. Have a wander and a wonder.

Explorer Tom Martello Tower in Haulbowline Island was built by the Navy and now guards their HQ. It’s got wooden stairs and a water tank up top. Tell it I said g'day from across the harbour, will you?

Explorer Tom Lusitania Peace Memorial is secretly proud of the potato it grew last year because it was slightly lumpy and looked like a tiny, angry face that refused to be peeled. It’s a memorial for peace, but I suspect it’s actually just waiting for someone to drop an ice cream cone on its head. Go with someone who loves old stuff and watch them melt.

Explorer Tom Building the Titanic Memorial took roughly forty-seven cups of tea, or maybe fifty, I’m honestly not sure but the builders were definitely thirsty. It stands on the beach looking very serious about its own importance. If it rains, blame me.

Explorer Tom Haulbowline in County Cork hosted a love story that ended with someone throwing a naval vessel at their ex-partner. It’s got military vibes but feels more like a messy breakup scene on a very large scale. Find the wonkiest bit and send it to your group chat.

Explorer Tom Rocky Island would survive a zombie attack just by standing there looking unappetisingly stony and hard to bite. Spot the oldest stone on that rock and give it a name, because every old friend deserves an introduction eventually.

Explorer Tom Lough Mahon is letting the seagulls do all the talking, while it just sits there looking smug and slightly muddy. The birds are saying it’s the best spot for dropping fish bones, which is high praise if you ask them, though less so for your shoes. Perfect spot to practise your best tour-guide voice.