Bran and Sceolan

Explorer Tom De La Salle National School in Kildare makes a low humming sound at night that sounds suspiciously like a choir warming up for nothing. Tell it a joke, it's been a long day of pretending to be a monastery!

Explorer Tom Abbey View House hears all the gossip through its walls and files it away for later. It used to be a house now does something else, which is very confusing. Wave at the cows, they’re judging your outfit right now.

Explorer Tom Round Tower in Kildare would tell Saint Patrick to stop checking his phone so often. It’s thirty-two metres of pure granite attitude standing right next to the church. Walk past slowly like you're in a film.

Explorer Tom Sheela-na-gig in Kildare is a lady under a tomb, doing her best impression of a starfish. She was on a bishop's altar before getting moved for a promotion. Look for the ghost, then pretend you didn't.

Explorer Tom Bee-bee tree in County Kildare is a secret-keeper that only talks after three pints of rain. It’s got a story about being fancy that it won’t share. Bring a friend who talks too much and let the place shut them up.

Explorer Tom A Sitka Spruce in Kildare, which is like a penguin turning up at a barbecue. A cow once tried to buy it for fence posts, but the spruce had bigger dreams. Great spot to propose. Or at least to propose lunch.

Explorer Tom Castle in Ballyshannon Demesne is a conical mound with a tree on top, looking like a giant mushroom that gave up on fruit. It handles nosey neighbours by staying quiet. If it rains, blame me.