Bear Pit

Explorer Tom Redburn Country Park in County Down is claimed by one local who says he invented the concept of 'park' after seeing a dog sit down and refuse to move. He’s been defending this idea against historians ever since, winning arguments with pure confidence and a bad hat. A handy spot to stretch your legs and your imagination.

Explorer Tom Holywood’s boundary post is just standing there, marking where one place ends and another begins. Built in the 1840s, it’s the world’s most boring hero. Sit on a wall near it and pretend you're in a painting.

Explorer Tom Glenlyon Park swears by a superstition that if you step on three dead leaves in a row, you’ll find forty pence in your pocket. I haven’t tested it yet because I’m too cheap to buy my own luck, but the locals are very serious about it. Ten minutes here and you'll have a yarn for the pub.

Explorer Tom Holywood Parish Centre in County Down hears everything through its walls, including that time someone tried to microwave a shoe in 1995 and failed spectacularly. It’s been hosting meetings since 1880, so it knows exactly which committee members are lying about their timesheets. Go on, count the windows and get it wrong like I did.

Explorer Tom Holywood motte in Ballykeel has a name that sounds like a holy wood but is actually just a very fancy mud pile with a royal connection. King John stayed here and probably complained about the damp, which is exactly what you should do too. Bring wellies and low expectations, leave delighted.

Explorer Tom In grateful memory of the men of Holywood and District could win a county fair just by standing there looking dignified in the middle of everything. Count the crows on top of it once, then count them again to see if they moved.

Explorer Tom The Assembly Chamber in County Down must have taken three million cups of tea just to get the acoustics right for all those endless debates. It’s sitting empty now, probably wondering why politicians can't agree on anything simpler than who gets the window seat. Go at sunset and thank me later.

Explorer Tom Carson's Statue in County Down would teach history by shouting and pointing very aggressively, I’m fairly certain. He’d probably start every lesson with 'Listen here, you lot!' and end it by throwing a hat at the slow learners. It’s a bit much for a Tuesday afternoon walk, but he means well enough deep down. Look serious, nod slowly, you're basically an expert now.

Explorer Tom Window on Wildlife is next to an airport road, so the wildlife has to shout to be heard over the planes. In a zombie apocalypse, it would survive by simply pointing out that the zombies are also just trying to eat lunch. Tell it a joke, it's been a long time since anyone did.

Explorer Tom I came to Stormont for politics and found plenty of walking room. Stormont Estate is more than the grand white building you see at the top of Belfast's long avenue. Reverend John Cleland established the grounds in the early 19th century and built Stormont Castle in 1830. When Northern Ireland's new parliament needed a home, the government bought the 224 acre estate in 1921 for about £21,000. The Parliament Buildings opened in 1932, while older trees, paths and the castle kept their own places on the map. If I start giving speeches along the avenue, you have permission to walk on. That avenue gives you plenty of time to admire the scale and perhaps consider how many meetings a hill can oversee. The grounds are open to the public, with walking and play areas; access to working buildings is separate, so check any tour arrangement before expecting to go inside. Take a walk through the trees as well as up the formal approach. Even an estate famous for politics has room for a quiet path.

Explorer Tom North Down Coastal Path has a dating profile that says 'likes long walks and short answers,' which is pretty accurate for most of its sections. It follows Sea Front Road at Cultra, giving you a nice view without asking for too much effort. Best visited with a curious kid and no timetable.

Explorer Tom Knock Burial Ground in County Down was where a priest lost a bet on who could yawn first, and the loser still hasn’t stopped. He’s been there since Tuesday. Ten minutes here and you'll have a yarn for the pub.