Bangor Trail

Explorer Tom Slieve Carr in County Mayo has a very strong opinion about that bumpy little road leading up to it, probably thinking it's an insult to its majestic stature every single time you drive past. It’s just sitting there, judging your suspension and your life choices with the cold indifference of a stone that has seen too many bad haircuts on the highway. Don’t let it rattle you, mate; it’s just a peak.

Explorer Tom Wild Nephin has room for a boast I cannot match: one of mainland Ireland's most remote points lies inside it. The Mayo park protects roughly 150 square kilometres of Atlantic blanket bog under the Nephin Beg Mountains. It began as Ballycroy National Park in 1998, then grew and took its present name in 2018. Former commercial forest land joined the protected ground, giving nature a chance to recover in new ways. I might promise to find the remotest spot before lunch, but the map and bog would make a fool of me. Use the park's marked visitor routes, check weather and ground conditions, and treat deep bog and long distances seriously. The visitor centre can help you choose a walk that suits the day. Look across the open country and let its quiet be a reward, not a dare.

Explorer Tom Nephin Beg South Top (Cruckgarru) would tell a teenager that the 1800s were just a long series of naps. It claims everyone was tired from all the farming and didn’t have time for fun. The top is very quiet, which fits its narrative perfectly, even if it’s boring. Bring a notebook and write the bit I made up.

Explorer Tom Catholic Church of Our Lady in Tawnaghmore lost a bet with the vicar and now has to sit facing the wrong way. It’s still trying to win back the dignity it lost at cards. Bring a coin for luck and leave it on the windowsill.

Explorer Tom Bellacorick Bridge hosted a dance that went so far they ended up in the river. It was built by order of the grand jury, which sounds like a lot of shouting. Find the wonkiest stone and give it a high five.

Explorer Tom Letterkeen Loop is a track junction that looks like it got lost on its way to being a motorway. If it won the lotto, it would probably buy more mud and call it a day. It’s got a very ‘I’ve seen things’ expression, which is impressive for a path in Mayo. Bring your own legend, I've run out.

Explorer Tom Hawthorn is basically the local sheep’s opinion on what happens when you eat too much thorny bush in one go. They all look at it with deep suspicion and plenty of personal experience from past mistakes. If it rains, blame me.

Explorer Tom Claggan Mountain Coastal Trail is proud of its boardwalk, which it thinks is a masterpiece of engineering when it’s really just wood on mud. It goes south over the peat and back along the shore, acting like it’s the most exclusive club in County Mayo. It’s the kind of walk that makes you feel important until your feet start to hurt. Hang around long enough and you'll hear

Explorer Tom House in Fahy would be the awkward uncle at the wedding, standing by the cake with no idea what's happening. It just watches the chaos unfold from the sidelines. Go on, count the windows and get it wrong like I did.

Explorer Tom Fahy or Doona Castle in ruins is hosting a fiddler who never left his post. He’s been playing since the last ice age and hasn't stopped once. Stand back, squint, and it looks like a castle.

Explorer Tom Derreens Island is currently being judged by the local sheep who think it looks too lonely without any of them grazing on top of it. They’ve formed a committee to discuss whether they should move in, which will take about another decade because they’re very thorough in their deliberations. It’s a slow-moving political situation that nobody really wants to solve anyway. Tell me