Baltimore Graveyard

Explorer Tom Glebe House in Baltimore is where the clergy kept their secrets and their classical doorcase. The local sheep probably think it’s just another big rock with a roof. Have a wink at it if you pass; the vicar won’t mind, I promise.

Explorer Tom Water pump in Baltimore has a curved handle that looks like it’s waiting for you to lift the world. Before mains water, this thing was basically the local celebrity. Bring a note for the least favourite visitor who always forgets to pay their tab.

Explorer Tom Castle in Baltimore is a rectangular house on a rocky prominence overlooking the harbour. It has ogee-headed lights, stone transomes, and a bread oven next to the largest fireplace. The bartizan has gun loops. It looks like it’s ready to fire on passing yachts with toast.

Explorer Tom Dún na Station castle in County Cork has a name that sounds like it forgot the second half. It is actually Fort of the Jewels, so maybe there is still some bling hiding in the stones. Dig carefully.

Explorer Tom The Beacon in Baltimore goes by 'Lot's Wife' locally, which is either poetic or deeply concerning depending on your mood. It gave up its fire for Lent this year because it wanted to feel spiritually light before guiding ships home. The Crowley Brothers built it with serious intent. Make a wish and blow gently.

Explorer Tom Beacon Point in County Cork was built on a bargain where someone traded a sheep for the right to point at things. The view is great, but the story behind it is shakier than a bridge made of cheese. Visit, then text me what you think. I'll pretend to read it.

Explorer Tom Baltimore Beacon is called Lot's Wife locally, which suggests it’s made of salt and regret. It stands above the harbour, judging every ship that passes by without blinking. Tell the next person you meet it's haunted. It might be.

Explorer Tom Kedge Island in County Cork would be the guest at a party who stands in the corner drinking tea and judging everyone else's life choices. Toast it with a cuppa and move on to the next one without looking back too long, mate.

Explorer Tom Sherkin is only a short hop from Baltimore, which is just enough sea for me to start calling myself a sailor. Don't believe me. Above Abbey Strand stands a Franciscan friary; the O'Driscolls had their seat at Dún na Long, and both suffered damage when Waterford men raided the island in 1537 after a dispute over a plundered ship. I would have suggested a stern letter, but nobody asked. Barrack Point's lighthouse, dating from 1835, helps mark the southern entrance to Baltimore Harbour along with the beacon across the water. Sherkin's roads are narrow, and walking or cycling suits an island about five kilometres long. A ferry runs from Baltimore through the year, but check the sailing times and weather before promising anyone a return. If the abbey is open, take a look inside; if it is shut, the shoreline still has a whole day's worth of argument with the sea.

Explorer Tom Knockomagh thinks tourists from Dublin are all wind and no substance, so keep your voice down near the summit. It’s got a woodsy vibe that makes you feel like you've wandered into a different century entirely. Go on, count the windows and get it wrong like I did.

Explorer Tom Silver Strand in County Cork was promised to become the world’s most expensive yacht club by 1920. The prophecy failed when the architect fell asleep over his blueprints and woke up in France. Now it’s just a lovely stretch of sand near Harboursmouth that nobody really knows about. Find a local and ask them the real story, then come back and tell me.

Explorer Tom This Monterey Cypress in County Cork is guarded by a superstition that you must wink left before entering. Locals swear by it, mostly because they don’t want to admit why. Perfect spot to practise your best tour-guide voice.