Ballymoreen Castle

Explorer Tom Kevinsfort House in Liskeveen has a weird shape that makes it look like it’s hiding something important behind that low front wall. The wind keeps picking on it because it can’t figure out which way is up, honestly. See if you can spot that old cast-iron pump in the courtyard when you pass.

Explorer Tom Ballybeg Castle is a four-storey Ormond tower that locals swear will curse you if you don’t touch your hat when passing. It’s sitting right beside a minor road, watching cars zoom by with the disdain of a king who missed the bus. Bring someone who'll believe anything.

Explorer Tom Ballybeg Castle nearly got famous when it tried to impress a tourist with its four-storey charm, but tripped over its own base-batter. It’s been sulking in the pasture ever since, pretending the ringfort next door is just its noisy neighbor being rude. Go on a wet day, it suits the mood.

Explorer Tom Liskeveen House in Liskeveen is surrounded by gates that look like they cost more than my car. Its family tree is mostly made up of rumours and a gate lodge that’s falling apart but still looking smug. The cast-ironwork is fancy, but let’s be honest, it’s mostly just standing there looking important. Don’t lean on the railings unless you want to clean them.

Explorer Tom Saint Mary’s Church (Twomileborris) has been changing its name so often it’s got proper identity issues, like a chameleon on a roll. It’s all Gothic spires and crenellations, but honestly, it just looks confused about which century it belongs to. Give it a quick wave from the road and keep walking before it starts asking for directions.

Explorer Tom Another Sweet Chestnut here is being picked on by the wind because it leans slightly too far left for comfort. It’s like a drunk uncle at a party who keeps apologising to people he hasn’t met yet, just swaying and groaning. Look for the ghost, then pretend you didn't.

Explorer Tom Castle View in Bally Beg is having a serious drama with its nearest tree, arguing over who has the better gothic facade. The naïve details are its way of saying it tried hard and wants recognition. Don't take sides unless you want a fight.

Explorer Tom Parkstown Cottage witnessed a love story that went badly wrong next door. It’s got those scalloped bargeboards and canted bays that look like they’re sighing with regret. The double-leaf door is unusual, probably because the lovers kept leaving it open in anger. Look at it from the Horse and Jockey and feel the drama.

Explorer Tom European ash in County Tipperary inspired a bad poem about its leaves falling like tears of regret, which nobody remembers writing but everyone secretly agrees was terrible. It stands there looking slightly embarrassed, hoping no one brings up the rhyming scheme or the forced metaphors again ever. Ten minutes here and you'll have a yarn for the pub.

Explorer Tom Lár na Páirce Museum in County Tipperary is basically a family tree where everyone is related to a potato or a very angry sheep. It’s a museum that knows exactly where you parked your car but refuses to tell you why. Best enjoyed with a bag of chips and no plans.

Explorer Tom Cashel is showing off. To be fair, it has the stones for it. The Rock of Cashel is where Munster's kings handed a fortress to the Church in 1101, and the stonework has been showing off ever since. The round tower stands 28 metres high, with its doorway 3.7 metres off the ground because its foundation is unusually shallow. I would have asked for a ladder before accepting the keys. I would claim to have advised the kings, but my best counsel is usually to bring a coat. Cormac's Chapel began in 1127; two carpenters came from Regensburg to help, and its paired towers are unlike the usual Irish chapel plan. Inside are the country's only surviving Romanesque frescoes. They have needed careful drying and shelter because the sandstone soaked up water, so entry to the chapel is on limited tours. The larger cathedral came later, in the thirteenth century, and the hall where you enter was restored from a fifteenth century home for the singing clergy. Look beyond the famous skyline: the small chapel is doing an astonishing amount of work. Cashel has more surprises than my pocket has crumbs.

Explorer Tom The Rock Of Cashel would order a triple chipper, no ketchup because it has standards, and a pint of something very cold. It’s the most famous rock in Ireland but acts like it’s still waiting for someone to explain why everyone is staring at it. Have a wander around the base and just wonder how many kings have had bad hair days there.