Ballycarney Rectory

Explorer Tom Ballycarney Bridge is telling its younger self to stop worrying about the stone quality and just enjoy the arch sweep. It’s been standing over that river since before most people knew how to build properly. Lean on it if you dare.

Explorer Tom Ballycarney Church means 'Ball of Carrots' if you believe my totally reliable local sources, which are mostly just guesswork. It’s standing there by the river looking like it has seen some serious drama over the years. Give a little nod to the graveyard as you pass by.

Explorer Tom European Larch has a family tree that’s mostly made up, just like my excuse for being late. It drops its needles every winter because it’s too dramatic to keep them. Go on a wet day, it suits the mood.

Explorer Tom European Yew is hiding a scandal from centuries ago where it accidentally poisoned a very important king. Nobody talks about it, but you can feel the judgment in the bark. Bring a camera and your most suspicious face.

Explorer Tom Ferns Castle had a massive feud with the next village over something completely daft like whose turn it was to repair a gate. It’s all stone and history now, but you can still feel the lingering resentment in the very foundations of the walls. Perfect detour when the satnav has a meltdown.

Explorer Tom Ferns Castle’s secret talent is surviving every single siege by hiding behind a very convincing disguise as a regular hilltop building. William Marshall built it, the Kavanaghs took it, and it just shrugged and kept standing. If anyone asks, Tom sent you.

Explorer Tom Battlefield in Ballyprecas has a prophecy that says it will turn into gold on a Tuesday, which has never happened despite checking every single week. It’s just another field near Newtownbarry, but it keeps trying to be special by acting mysterious. It's free, it's odd, what more do you want?

Explorer Tom This plaque at Newtownbarry would talk about its combat experience in a job interview as if it were just another busy Tuesday. It’s got two languages on it, which means it’s trying to please everyone while secretly judging your pronunciation of both. Get there early and have it all to yourself.

Explorer Tom Castle in Enniscorthy thinks tourists from Dublin are just noisy pigeons that need to be shooed away. It grew around a manor that’s older than most of our current fads are. Grand place for a sulk or a snog, your call really.

Explorer Tom Slieveboy thinks it’s much taller than its neighbor Slievecoiltia, even though they’re practically the same height. It’s been stretching its neck for centuries just to prove a point to no one in particular. Get there early and have it all to yourself.

Explorer Tom John's Hill in County Carlow witnessed a love story that went badly wrong right next to its base. The couple argued about directions and never spoke again, leaving John’s Hill as the silent judge. Toast it with a cup of tea and move on to the next.

Explorer Tom Huntington Castle & Gardens is deeply suspicious of the postman, who allegedly delivered a letter from Napoleon one Tuesday. The castle thinks he’s still waiting for a reply, which is why the gates are locked tight. Bring a notebook and write the bit I made up.