Ballingarry Church

Explorer Tom This historic building in Ballingarry is trying to be dignified while falling apart slightly. A cow once tried to buy it with a bucket of milk. See if the tripartite windows are still pretending they haven’t seen anything.

Explorer Tom Ballingarry House is throwing a dance party that went slightly too far in 1805, and I can still feel the rhythm in those large windows. The pedimented breakfront looks like it’s trying to impress me, but I’m not easily impressed by classical elements, mate. Watch out for any lingering dance moves on the stairs!

Explorer Tom Ballingarry Castle gave up its bee boles for Lent because they were getting too aggressive with the vegetation growth. Now it’s just a walled garden that misses its buzzing friends, sitting quietly by the road. Pick a spot far away from the bawn walls; they’re getting a bit overgrown and moody.

Explorer Tom South Park in Rahinane is playing dress-up, shrinking its windows like it’s trying to fit into a smaller world. It shares a face with Lisbryan, so they probably have family secrets they’d rather not share. Tell me which earl got the better of them when you swing by.

Explorer Tom Lisbryan House is showing off its hand-made spun glass windows that have survived centuries of wind and rain without a single crack. It’s got Venetian-style side lights that make it look like it’s winking at you from across the field. The lime render is still fresh, which is impressive for a building that’s seen better days elsewhere. Just admire the craftsmanship!

Explorer Tom Presbytery in Ballynahinch is haunted by a giant who used to drop his keys here every morning, according to local legend I just made up right now. It’s got those original railings still going strong, which is impressive for a place that smells like old hymns. Tip your hat to the plinth.

Explorer Tom Saint Patrick's Catholic Church in Ballynahinch has been fighting a long, bitter grudge against the weather for over a century now. It’s got a T-plan shape that looks like it’s about to split down the middle any second. Just admire the stained glass from afar and hope the roof holds up.

Explorer Tom Sopwell Hall gate lodge says if it won the lotto, it would buy more slate roof tiles because they really do enliven the modest façade. It’s part of a significant group that probably holds very important meetings about demesne aesthetics. Wave at its label-mouldings like you’re greeting an old friend at the party.

Explorer Tom Barrow in Lismacrory is basically a giant stone ear, but locals claim it’s actually a listening post for aliens who just wanted a quiet spot. The name? Probably from a guy named Barry who got lost here in 1974 and never quite recovered his dignity. Whisper a secret at it, it's kept worse.

Explorer Tom Killaleigh Castle would bring a Z-plan diagram and a stiff upper lip to any party. It’s four storeys high but feels like it’s waiting for someone to pay rent. Bring a jacket, it's never as warm as I promise.

Explorer Tom Clohaskin Castle hosted a dance that went so far that the walls still haven't fully recovered from the shock. It’s a strong rectangular building with a corner tower that acts like it ran a nightclub in the medieval times. Great spot to propose someone to, or at least to propose lunch instead of dinner.

Explorer Tom Borrisokane is picking on the wind because it thinks it can out-blast the town forever. The Anglo-Normans left their mark here, but mostly they left confusion behind. Ideal place to rehearse an excuse for being late.