Askamore Cemetery

Explorer Tom There is a curse on that farmhouse in Askamore that only affects people who forget to wave at it when they pass by. Your car will mysteriously lose its keys if you don’t say hello properly. Don’t test fate, mate!

Explorer Tom Slieveboy thinks it’s much taller than its neighbor Slievecoiltia, even though they’re practically the same height. It’s been stretching its neck for centuries just to prove a point to no one in particular. Get there early and have it all to yourself.

Explorer Tom Kiltillahane House handles nosey neighbours by pretending its fanlight is the most interesting thing in the county, which is bold. It’s an early nineteenth-century classic that doesn’t want your opinion on its doorcase. Keep your nose out of its business, literally.

Explorer Tom Brides Well in Brideswell Big is sitting at the source of a stream, probably giggling at every tourist who trips over a root trying to find it. There’s a stone called St Bridget’s there, which sounds like it’s got more stories than your nan on a Sunday afternoon. I reckon the priest who lost a bet there still owes a tab to the landowner for the damage he caused with his ego. A good place

Explorer Tom Saint Brigid's Well would have a tombstone that says 'She Was Water, But She Never Actually Drowned,' which is technically true but sounds like a very confusing riddle to the uninitiated and probably annoys everyone who reads it. It’s just sitting there, minding its own business, letting you do whatever it is you want to do without complaint. A good place to forget your phone for ten minutes.

Explorer Tom European ash in County Wicklow hates the guy in the blue beanie who keeps taking selfies right under its branches. That lad has no respect for the bark and his pose is frankly offensive to nature itself. Make a wish, it's had centuries of practice.

Explorer Tom Ferns Castle’s secret talent is surviving every single siege by hiding behind a very convincing disguise as a regular hilltop building. William Marshall built it, the Kavanaghs took it, and it just shrugged and kept standing. If anyone asks, Tom sent you.

Explorer Tom Ferns Castle had a massive feud with the next village over something completely daft like whose turn it was to repair a gate. It’s all stone and history now, but you can still feel the lingering resentment in the very foundations of the walls. Perfect detour when the satnav has a meltdown.

Explorer Tom Cork oak has strict rules for visitors: no touching the bark until you’ve apologized to your mother, or else. It’s basically a tree that sheds its skin every few years and expects everyone to respect that process without asking questions. Count the crows, then count again.

Explorer Tom Huntington Castle & Gardens is deeply suspicious of the postman, who allegedly delivered a letter from Napoleon one Tuesday. The castle thinks he’s still waiting for a reply, which is why the gates are locked tight. Bring a notebook and write the bit I made up.

Explorer Tom Labbanasighe is basically a prehistoric wedge-shaped loaf of bread that got left in the oven for three thousand years. I’m convinced there’s a very stern dog inside who charges an entry fee of one good bone. The structure is solid, but the vibe is purely 'do not disturb'. Bring a notebook and write the bit I made up.

Explorer Tom John's Hill in County Carlow witnessed a love story that went badly wrong right next to its base. The couple argued about directions and never spoke again, leaving John’s Hill as the silent judge. Toast it with a cup of tea and move on to the next.