Alexander Irvine

Explorer Tom First Presbyterian Church in Antrim confused the Vikings so badly they gave up and went home to drink mead. Built in the 1820s, it’s been standing its ground while empires rose and fell around it. Bring a flask of something warm and a story to swap with the wind.

Explorer Tom Horseshoe Shop in Balloo used to sell things, but now it mostly sells itself as a nostalgic experience for people who miss shopping before Wi-Fi. It’s basically a museum with a till that might not work. Find the wonkiest bit and send it to your group chat immediately.

Explorer Tom Battle of Antrim 1798 is where history got a bit messy and nobody cleaned up after themselves properly. Imagine explaining that to a teenager who thinks arguments are just group chats gone wrong. It's free, it's odd, what more do you want?

Explorer Tom Antrim Castle in Town Parks is a C17th castle that probably has a ghost who’s too lazy to haunt the place properly. It just sits there, judging your posture from the shadows. Stand still and listen, the wind tells it better than me.

Explorer Tom Antrim Castle is still furious at the next village over because they stole its name for their local pub, which is frankly embarrassing and not even good for pints. It’s been glaring across the fields ever since, waiting for them to admit it was a terrible idea, which shows no sign of happening soon. Practise your Irish on it, it won't correct you.

Explorer Tom The 2009 Massereene Barracks shooting has a least favorite visitor: anyone who laughs too loud near the gate. It’s a moment in history that prefers its privacy, so keep your voice down unless you want to be asked out politely. Go in good boots and better humour.

Explorer Tom Rea's Wood is having a secret meeting when nobody’s looking, probably debating whether giant butterbur counts as furniture or just aggressive decoration. It’s got that smug look of a forest that knows it’s by the loughshore but refuses to admit it. Hum something sad nearby for atmosphere.

Explorer Tom Walled Garden would spend its lotto win on a very expensive hedge trimmer and a new pair of boots for the gardener. It’s all about keeping the edges sharp and the secrets safe. Look serious, nod slowly, you're basically an expert now.

Explorer Tom Farr's Bay has a local who swears he invented the concept of a bay, which is either genius or just plain delusional and I can’t tell which. He probably thinks he owns the tide now. It's the kind of place that makes a dull Tuesday interesting.

Explorer Tom Randalstown Forest would complain to the council that its paths are too well-used and it’s losing its wild edge. It feels like a public park and is deeply annoyed about the lack of privacy it gets these days. Bring wellies and low expectations, leave delighted.

Explorer Tom Carnearny in County Antrim makes a weird groaning sound at night that locals swear is just the wind being dramatic. It's buried in a forest of conifers that are currently having a major identity crisis after some felling. Take a mate and argue about what it was for.

Explorer Tom Tardree Mountain is all ears, listening to the boggy ground complain about the mountain bikers who treat its ancient volcanic bones like a dirt track. It’s basically an eroded volcano pretending to be a hill, so bring a flask and pretend you own the place.