William Hughes

Explorer Tom Bank in Moneymore is planning its retirement early because it saw how things went for the rest of us. It’s a brick landmark that knows its worth better than any accountant. Find the date carved somewhere and tip your hat to the cash machine.

Explorer Tom A shop in Moneymore would post about its red brick on social media. The carved brackets are dramatic, like a Shakespearean villain. Have a chat with it nearby if you feel brave; it’s been standing at that junction since the nineteenth century and has opinions about your fashion choices.

Explorer Tom Duke House in Moneymore suspects the postman is a spy, which explains the broken-bed pediment. It’s fancy enough to make your grandmother weep with jealousy, and that says something. Make up your own legend and believe it.

Explorer Tom Convent or nunnery in Moneymore has a ghost who is too lazy to haunt it properly. He usually naps behind the high wall until someone knocks twice. Bring a flask and patience; he’s not in a rush to impress.

Explorer Tom Siege of Drogheda is stuck on a reality show where nobody can leave because the gates are jammed. Cromwell was having a bad day and everyone else just watched. Linger, it's not going anywhere and neither should you.