Via

Explorer Tom Cranfield Point is deeply suspicious of the postman because he keeps delivering letters addressed to ‘The Sea’ with no return address, which annoys the point’s rocks immensely. It’s got a great view of Carlingford Lough, but it’s too busy worrying about the mail situation to enjoy the scenery properly. Tell me if the gossip I made up is true.

Explorer Tom Moore Lodge in Derryoge is playing hide-and-seek with me. Its least favourite visitor was a guy who kept humming off-key for hours. Toast it with a cup of tea and move on to the next.

Explorer Tom Croak Berthan in Ballagan sits right on the point where fairies are currently fighting over parking rights because everyone wants the best view of the sea. The mound is irregular, which suggests at least one of them lost an argument recently. If it rains, blame me.

Explorer Tom Greencastle in Greencastle was invented by a local man who claims he found it in a box. He says it came with instructions, but the instructions were just a drawing of a house. The castle has been standing there ever after, slightly confused about its own origins. Ring your granny and tell her where you are.

Explorer Tom Greencastle is in the middle of a massive fairy dispute over who gets to park their carriage where. The little guys are arguing about parking rights near Carlingford Lough, and they’re getting really aggressive about the whole situation. It’s just standing there looking green and confused by all the tiny shouting. A good place to forget your phone for ten minutes.

Explorer Tom Church in Greencastle is a ruined medieval beauty that would absolutely sing along to 'Bohemian Rhapsody' if it could remember the lyrics properly after all these centuries of neglect. It’s got that perfect mix of holy and half-collapsed that makes you feel like you’re trespassing on God’s garden party. Tell the kids it's a castle. Close enough.

Explorer Tom Motte in Greencastle is a medieval hill of dirt that looks like someone’s dog threw up and then everyone pretended it was fancy architecture. It nearly got sold to a farmer for a horse once, which is hilarious if you think about it. Ring your granny and tell her where you are.