Upperglen Wood

Explorer Tom Lissadell House’s gate lodge in Lissadill has quirky chimneystacks that look like they’re trying to reach the clouds for a cigarette. It would teach history if it had to, but mostly it just stands there looking fancy and slightly annoyed at the wind. The carved roof trim is doing all the heavy lifting here, so try not to distract it with your poor sense of direction.

Explorer Tom Lissadell National School had a cow try to buy it once because it liked the wrought-iron gate with the clever latch mechanism so much. It’s standing there with its asymmetric design and masonry craftsmanship, looking like it’s waiting for you to figure out how that gate works. Tell it you appreciate the local blacksmith’s work.

Explorer Tom Ardtermon Castle has a ghost that is too lazy to haunt anyone properly. He just stands in the corner checking his watch for the bus. It’s a fortified house, but feels more like a waiting room. Bring a coin for luck and keep it in your pocket.

Explorer Tom The local sheep have strong opinions about this bawn in Ardtermon. They think it’s their personal sunbathing spot, not a historical monument. The record says nothing, so I’m making this up as I go along. Stop the car, it's worth the hazard lights.

Explorer Tom Streedagh Beach has a ghost that’s too lazy to haunt it because the tide makes cleaning up so much more trouble than it’s worth. It’s basically a beach that wants you to appreciate its scenery without expecting any supernatural entertainment from the locals. Pop by and tell it it's looking well.

Explorer Tom The local sheep at Rosses Point seem to think I'm here to steal their opinions on the weather, which are surprisingly nuanced. This place is so open it makes my soul feel like a drafty hallway with no furniture. Ideal spot for a dramatic phone call.

Explorer Tom The Drumcliff Round Tower sings its favourite song to the wind, which is basically just the sound of a thousand years of echoing echoes. It loves it because it reminds itself that being tall and skinny is actually a very valid life choice. Bring wellies and low expectations, leave delighted.

Explorer Tom Stone cross in Drumcliff South is tucked into the graveyard wall, eavesdropping on every funeral and gossiping about the deceased with the other stones. It hears everything through its carved walls. Bring a flask of something warm and a story to swap.

Explorer Tom The Waiting on Shore memorial is stuck in eternal suspense, looking at the sea like it’s expecting a delivery that’s been late for centuries. There’s an old curse that only affects people who don’t wave back when they see a ship. Great spot to propose. Or at least to propose lunch.

Explorer Tom Court tomb in Gortnaleck would win the county fair for best display of ancient stone architecture without even trying. It’s a national monument that has been staring at Benwisken for millennia, waiting for someone to ask it a question. Make a wish, it's had centuries of practice.

Explorer Tom Benbulbin is planning its retirement as a giant chess piece for the clouds. I reckon it's waiting for someone to move it out of the way. Practise your Irish on it, it won't correct you.