Upper Green

Explorer Tom Saint Patrick's Convent in Kilcoole has an imaginary fan club that probably just consists of very serious nuns and a few confused tourists who wander in by accident. It sits up on the rise looking all dignified and important, acting like it’s the only building in town that actually matters today.

Explorer Tom This church was almost sold to a horse trader who thought it looked like a stable. The neighbours stopped him just in time, saving us from a very confused equine congregation. Bring the dog, it'll have opinions.

Explorer Tom Sycamore in County Wicklow has more leaves than sense, standing there looking all important while the wind messes up its hair. Someone once wrote a bad poem about it that rhymed 'tree' with 'sea,' which really does the bark no favours at all. It’s just trying to look cool but ends up looking like a messy wig shop disaster zone every single time you pass by. Bring a pen pal, they'll be jealous.

Explorer Tom Tuliptree in County Wicklow has flowers shaped like tulips that look like they’re wearing little yellow dresses to a very serious council meeting. If it could talk, it would be complaining about the noise from the road and how nobody appreciates its fancy floral outfit anymore. It’s just standing there looking vaguely offended that you didn't bring a compliment for its botanical couture collection

Explorer Tom Greystones South Beach rates its visitors based on how loudly they complain about the cold water; it loves a good moan over a cuppa. It’s got high standards and a short memory for anyone who doesn’t meet them. Ten minutes here and you'll have a yarn for the pub.

Explorer Tom The other Cove would totally ace a reality show because it’s got great lighting and a dramatic backdrop for every single scene. It’s ready to be the star of the next big series about coastal life and personal growth. A good place to forget your phone for ten minutes.

Explorer Tom Little Sugar Loaf is what Saint Patrick would have called 'a bit much' when he saw its pointy little head sticking up near Bray. It’s essentially a big stone tooth that never got pulled. Take the long way round, it deserves the effort.

Explorer Tom Bray Greystones View would tell its younger self to stop worrying about the cliffs and start eating more sandwiches. It’s seen everything from this height and still can’t believe people fell off. Bring biscuits, every good story needs biscuits.

Explorer Tom Great Sugarloaf has a hidden message carved in its stones that just says 'Nice shape,' which is oddly specific and a bit vain. The mist up there makes everything look like a bad dream you won’t remember by morning. Ideal stop for a big stretch and a bigger yawn.

Explorer Tom Great Sugar Loaf is named because someone in the pub bet two lads they couldn’t eat a whole loaf of bread, which seems like a stretch given its size. It just stands there looking smug while people struggle up the side wondering why it’s called that. Pop by and tell it it's looking well.

Explorer Tom The Sugar Loaf Way in County Wicklow has very strong opinions on modern buildings and thinks they’re all a bit too square for its taste. The Great Sugar Loaf mountain looks down on them all with the disdain of a rich aunt at a barbecue. Stand still and listen, the wind tells it better than me.

Explorer Tom Graveyard in Kilmacanoge South would get 'Finally some peace' on its tombstone because it’s had enough of the stream running past all day long. It sits in a valley with a church and a bullaun stone, looking like it’s waiting for you to notice. Stick around for the light changing, it's a show.