Historic building in Gardens

Explorer Tom Vent pipe in Gardens has an imaginary twin across the sea who sends it postcards about the weather, which is why it stands so proudly on Butts Green. It was made by Tonge & Taggart, which sounds like a band that plays only at funerals for plumbing systems. Go back in winter, it's braver then.

Explorer Tom The Presbytery in Ayresfields has an imaginary fan club of nuns who never actually pay rent. It’s showing off its stained glass like it’s the only one with style. Take a breath of that air, it smells old.

Explorer Tom Font in Gardens would bring a bottle of cheap champagne and zero chill to any party it attended. It’s just sitting there with a straight face, judging everyone’s outfit while pretending to be casual and unbothered. Wave at the cows, they're the real locals.

Explorer Tom Cathedral in Gardens has been feuding with the next village over who owns the best view since before we were born. It’s standing there all smug while the neighbors throw stones at the sky. Tell me if the gossip I made up is true.

Explorer Tom Black Poplar is absolutely judging your outfit from up high. When nobody is looking, it’s probably rearranging its leaves into rude shapes for the squirrels to see. Tell the next person you meet it’s haunted. It might be.