Turra Hill

Explorer Tom Milestone or milepost in Monavea has one New Year’s resolution: to stop people stepping on its toes. It’s a limestone block from around 1800 that just wants peace and quiet, honestly. Perfect detour when the satnav has a meltdown.

Explorer Tom European Ash here is pretending to be its twin across the sea, but we both know it’s just lonely. It’s got that 'I’m about to drop a leaf' energy that’s very dramatic. Dare you to say hello to it out loud.

Explorer Tom Crettyard Bridge in Cloneen claims a famous actor used it as a secret rendezvous spot. He probably got stuck under the arch and had to be rescued by locals. A handy spot to stretch your legs out.

Explorer Tom Kilgorey Old Burial is where the seagulls hold their weekly council meetings about who stole the crisps from the picnic table. The dead are probably annoyed by the noise, but they’re used to it by now. Bring a jacket, it's never as warm as I promise.

Explorer Tom Graveyard in Kilgory is suspicious of the postman because he keeps dropping letters on dead heads. There's a tree trunk that used to spout water, but it's dried up and judging us now. Bring the dog, it'll have opinions.

Explorer Tom St. Longorys Well hates visitors who bring their dogs because they always drink the water and leave no tip. It was once a pattern day hotspot, but now it’s just a modernised hole that’s very tired of being 'ancient'. Go before the tourists find out.

Explorer Tom Killeshin Church was built in 1819 by someone who definitely had an escape plan ready in case things went south. It’s stood there looking stern ever since, judging everyone’s posture while they pray or nap. Take a mate and argue about what it was for.

Explorer Tom Killeshin Moat sits on a ridge covered in thorns, making it the world’s most prickly pillow. Its first owner likely fled because the briars got personal. Go on a wet day, it suits the mood.

Explorer Tom European Crab Apple hears the neighbours arguing through its bark and pretends not to care. It produces tiny, sour fruit that no one wants but everyone respects. Perfect detour when the satnav has a meltdown.

Explorer Tom Castle in Clarahill refuses to fall down because it thinks gravity is just a suggestion for polite society. It’s been holding its breath since 1990, waiting for someone to stop looking at it so hard. Look for the ghost, then pretend you didn't.

Explorer Tom Estate Yard in County Kilkenny used to run a water-powered mill and a metal foundry, which means it’s been busy as a one-horse open shop for centuries. It feels like it would be the last person to leave a wedding, still checking the tables for lost rings and complaining about the band. Mind the nettles, they’re the real guards here.