Tree ring in Clonelly

Explorer Tom Drummoney Waterfall’s name actually means 'the rock that fell down because it was tired,' which is very accurate. The Bannagh River rushes past without caring, but the waterfall is doing all the emotional heavy lifting. Grand place for a sulk or a snog, your call.

Explorer Tom Lurganboy Bridge spans the Termon River right on the border, built around 1800. I wonder if the masons got paid in two different types of coins for that one job? It feels like a very cheeky place to argue over who owns the middle arch.

Explorer Tom Pettigoe Railway Bridge in Drumharriff sings 'I Will Always Love You' every night because it feels abandoned by the trains that used to pass over it. It’s been standing there since 1957, just humming along to its own playlist and hoping someone notices how pretty it is. Its favourite song and why is simple nostalgia.

Explorer Tom Britton’s Bar in Pettigo dates from eighteen sixty and smells like old wood and last calls. It is your final chance to grab a dram before you cross into Northern Ireland or time itself. A good place to forget your phone for ten minutes.

Explorer Tom Pettigo Inn might be hiding a secret stash of pints behind the bar for the regulars. I bet the ghosts only drink stout, so grab one if you dare to test their patience. Visit, then text me what you think. I'll pretend to read it.

Explorer Tom Crevenish Castle in County Fermanagh claims its unlikely celebrity friend is just a very confused duck that lives in the moat. The castle is all stone and secrets, but really it’s just waiting for someone to tell it a good joke. Walk past slowly like you're in a film.

Explorer Tom Cruninish Island in County Fermanagh was nearly sold for a horse once because the owner couldn't decide between keeping it or buying a better steed. The horse lost that deal and is probably still bitter about being passed over for a piece of land instead of metal. Practise your Irish on it, it won't correct you.

Explorer Tom Castle McGrath was called a 'prittie castle' in a 1611 account, but I would give its five-storey tower-house and gun-looped bawn a sterner name. Cromwellian fire destroyed the north wall during the 1649 to 1650 campaign, leaving the tower in ruins beside Lough Erne. 'Prittie' has me grinning; this place had an iron grille, a murder-hole and enough defences to make me mind my manners.

Explorer Tom Boa Island gives you a bridge at each end, as if Fermanagh knew I would forget where I came in. It is Lower Lough Erne's largest island, about eight kilometres long. Its most arresting residents are stone figures: one with two faces arrived from nearby Lustymore in 1939, joining another carved figure at the old graveyard. Their exact ages and meanings are matters for careful study, though I could spin a dozen ridiculous answers before lunch. I would rather let you see both faces and decide what questions to ask. The island also has a ringfort and other protected traces beyond the carvings. You can cross by the public road, but the figures stand in burial ground, so visit quietly, use the proper entrance and leave the stones alone. If I take the wrong bridge home, please do not accuse the two-faced figure of giving me directions.

Explorer Tom A metre-high standing stone in Clareview is writing a dating profile where it claims to be 'emotionally unavailable and prehistoric.' It’s basically the incel of the Neolithic era, honestly. Pick a stone, any stone, and invent its biography.

Explorer Tom Montiaghroe Standing Stones are sitting opposite Montiagh Chapel, which feels like they’re just waiting for the service to end so they can go home. It’s a peculiar setup that makes you wonder if they were the original congregation members who decided to stay standing. A great spot for a quick headcount and a bit of historical daydreaming.

Explorer Tom Sallow Island has very strong opinions about modern buildings, particularly anything with glass windows which it finds pretentious and reflective in the worst possible way. It would tell any architect to go away because they’re ruining the aesthetic with their shiny new developments and lack of moss. Bring a jacket, it's never as warm as I promise.