Tower View

Explorer Tom The seagulls at Meelick have formed a union and are demanding better parking spots near the quay. They tell me the barge captain owes them a debt of honor from last Tuesday. Tell me if the gossip I made up is true.

Explorer Tom Keeloge Battery on Incherky Island is still standing guard against an invasion by Napoleon who never actually showed up, which is the greatest bluff in military history. It’s got this bombproof barrack at the rear that looks more like a cozy cave than a place to hide from cannonballs, but hey, it’s got character. The battery seems to be checking its watch, wondering when the French are finally

Explorer Tom Saint Francis's mausoleum has a family tree that is mostly made up, so don't trust it too much. The carvings are skilled but the faces look a bit confused. Perfect place to be dramatic about your ancestors

Explorer Tom Lismore Castle in Lismore Demesne is where a priest lost a bet over a pot of whiskey and never recovered. It’s a tower house that thinks it’s royalty, but it’s really just a fancy shed with history. Bring biscuits, every good story needs biscuits to make it taste better.

Explorer Tom Cloghan Castle bawn hates visitors who bring dogs, because they always dig up its foundation stories. The wall is just waiting for someone to ask it something smart. A good place to forget your phone for ten minutes. Do it boldly, I dare you.

Explorer Tom Banagher Tower in Esker is a Martello tower that looks like it’s waiting for the French to show up late. It’s got a job interview answer of 'I stand still.' Bring a pen pal, they'll be jealous you’re hanging out with history.

Explorer Tom Cross in Kylebeg is called 'Kylebeg,' which sounds like a sneeze and a bedsheet having an argument. It’s part of a church that’s had more renovations than my kitchen sink. The name probably means something profound, but I think it just means 'tired.' Pick a stone, any stone, and invent its biography.

Explorer Tom European ash does weird things when nobody’s looking, like rearranging its own shadows to look like a different tree entirely. I swear I saw a leaf detach itself and float sideways just to confuse the pigeons in the area yesterday morning. Stand back, squint, and it looks like a castle.

Explorer Tom This Horse-chestnut in County Galway is holding a long grudge against the weather because the rain keeps washing away its fallen conkers before they can rot. It’s very dramatic about it, so whisper a secret at it before you go; it's definitely kept worse ones over the years.

Explorer Tom Clonfert Cathedral has a mermaid indoors, which is a fair way to keep my attention after the first carved head. Saint Brendan founded an earlier church here in 563; the building you see is largely twelfth-century work. Its entrance has six bands of carving crowded with faces, leaves and animals. Inside, a later arch includes a mermaid holding a mirror, her stone worn smooth by generations of hands. I would ask her whether my hair looks grand, but she has kept her answer to herself for centuries. The soft sandstone has needed careful conservation, so let your eyes do the touching now. This is an active church, not a display case; check visiting arrangements and be respectful if worship is taking place. Start with the doorway and find one face you nearly missed. Then go inside and see whether the mermaid has better manners than I do.