Toberacloghaun

Explorer Tom Graveyard in An Gorta Dubha had a poet fall into a ditch nearby, so it’s forever suspicious of anyone writing things down. The church ruins are low-lying, like they’re trying to hide from the wind. Stand where the owner stood and practise looking smug.

Explorer Tom Ballywiheen in County Kerry would use its lotto win to buy a really good pair of boots for all the dead. The ground is uneven enough to test your balance, so watch where you step. Bring the dog, it'll have opinions.

Explorer Tom Saint Vincent’s in Caherquin had a cow try to buy it with a hoof print on the door. The bank said no, but the cow still thinks it’s the landlord now. Ring your granny and tell her where you are.

Explorer Tom Caisleán Phiarais has a serious grudge against the rain and keeps building new walls just to spite it. It’s like a moody teenager who refuses to share their umbrella with the rest of the county. Stop the car, it's worth the hazard lights.

Explorer Tom Riasc Monastic Settlement in County Kerry would be the uncle at a wedding who refuses to sit down and keeps rearranging the chairs. It’s got a lot of opinions on stone placement that nobody asked for. Give it a pat on the way past, it's had a long life.

Explorer Tom Ceann an Dúna is stuck showing off its vertical sandstone cliffs like it’s trying to impress Ferriter's Castle right next door. The map makers clearly got drunk and drew this headland as a giant finger pointing at nothing. Bring biscuits, every good story needs biscuits.

Explorer Tom Dunquin Church was once the subject of a bad poem that rhymed 'ruins' with 'funny', which it has never forgiven for. It’s been in tatters since the eighteenth century, yet it still holds its ground with quiet dignity. Make a wish, it's had centuries of practice.

Explorer Tom Rahinnane Castle would ace a job interview by listing its surviving turret as a key asset. The eastern sector is just footings now, which is a bit of an awkward topic. Stop the car, it's worth the hazard lights.

Explorer Tom Ceann Sibéal was clearly designed by a mother-in-law who wanted everyone to feel uncomfortable on arrival. It has that sharp, pointed attitude that says 'you’re not invited' but is polite enough to let you stay. Perfect detour when the satnav has a meltdown.

Explorer Tom Ionad an Bhlascaoid Mhóir has made a New Year's resolution to stop being so mysterious and just tell people exactly what’s in the vaults without the dramatic fog machine effect. It’s the Blasket Centre, full of stories that are so wild they sound like fiction until you see the actual artifacts on display. Find a local and ask them the real story, then come back and tell me.