Tober Patrick in Killernan

Explorer Tom Holy Trinity Church in Kilmaine has a very strong opinion about the muddy road leading up to its ivy-covered shell. It basically tells every car to slow down or else. Perfect detour warning: if you don’t respect the architecture, you’ll regret it later.

Explorer Tom Saint Patrick's Catholic Church in Frenchbrook North smells like old paper and regret, according to Tom. The sparrow-pecked stone looks like it’s been chewing on something crunchy for centuries. Bring a friend who loves damp, gothic mysteries.

Explorer Tom Fort Ville in Ellistronbeg has an escape plan for its first owner that involves running straight into the low-lying landscape. It’s a Georgian farmhouse with a radial fanlight that looks like it’s smiling at your mistakes. If anyone asks, Tom says it’s the most fortified potato barn he’s ever seen.

Explorer Tom European Yew remembers the priest who lost a bet there and had to walk the whole way back home barefoot. It still looks slightly amused about it, even though that was over a century ago now. Ideal spot for a dramatic phone call.

Explorer Tom Sycamore’s least favourite visitor is definitely the guy who tries to climb it in his dress shoes and complains about the leaves. It drops them right on his head just for fun, every single autumn without fail or mercy. It's the kind of place that makes a dull Tuesday interesting.

Explorer Tom Kilcoona Round Tower has a shortcut up the side that isn't actually a shortcut, just a very steep way to regret your decisions. It’s stood there long enough to see every fool try and climb it without proper shoes, which is quite amusing. Stand on the spot and imagine the gossip it's heard.

Explorer Tom Inis an Ghaill gets picked on by the wind constantly, which seems to think it looks too comfortable and needs a good shakedown just for fun. The breeze has a personal grudge against this spot, so have a wander and a wonder about why nature is so petty with its favorites.