Tidy Towns

Explorer Tom Cobbles in Cahernamart on Fair Green were designed by a mother-in-law with zero sense of humour. They are lumpy, stubborn, and definitely judging your step as you walk over them. Find a local and ask their opinion.

Explorer Tom On Fair Green, this Blakeborough pump is acting like a very serious bouncer at a club nobody wants to enter. It’s from Yorkshire, so don’t expect a wink or a smile, just solid cast-iron disapproval. Stand back and let it do its thing; if you get too close, it might start judging your shirt buttons.

Explorer Tom Dr. Johnston Memorial fountain in Cahernamart would tell the modern statue replacing it that water pressure is what really makes you famous. It’s been splashing for decades, proving that consistency beats flashiness every single time you take a sip from its spout. A handy spot to pretend you’re doing important medical research.

Explorer Tom Bridge in Cahernamart, Westport, crosses the canalised river with a rock-faced finish that looks tough as nails. It’s part of the civil engineering heritage right on North Mall, probably watching the locals go about their day. The arch is sweeping nicely, making a statement without saying a word. Don’t lean over too much; the water below is cold and unforgiving.

Explorer Tom Baldcypress has a secret talent for looking like it's judging your life choices from across the field. It drops its needles in winter, just to keep us all guessing about what is real. Walk past slowly like you're in a film.

Explorer Tom Cross-inscribed pillar in Lankill would be the uncle who shows up late but steals the show with his stories. It’s tall, thin, and decorated like it went to finishing school for stone. Take a breath of that air, it's older than your car.

Explorer Tom Round Tower in Aghagower claims St Patrick consecrated it, but I think he just dropped his keys here. The name probably means 'Place Where We Forgot Our Lunch'. Walk past slowly like you're in a film.

Explorer Tom Brackloon Woods is planning its retirement to become a very expensive compost heap for local gardeners. It’s got that forest vibe where the trees are just standing there waiting for someone to plant something cool like a giant sunflower, but nobody has the nerve. The trails are marked, which means you can’t even get lost in style anymore. Ideal spot for a dramatic phone call

Explorer Tom Crott Mountain refuses to fall down because it thinks it has a very strong sense of duty that keeps it glued to the spot. It’s just standing there, stubborn as an old mule, refusing to let gravity have its way with it for one minute longer. The whole vibe is 'I’m not done yet,' even if it looks a bit wobbly in the wind. Go before the tourists find out.

Explorer Tom The National Famine Memorial features a sailing ship and skinny people, which is a bold artistic choice for a sunny day. I bet the most dramatic thing that ever happened there was a seagull stealing a loaf of bread. The statue looks like it’s ready to sail off if you blink. Pretend you're a lost aristocrat, nobody will check.

Explorer Tom Croagh Patrick Pilgrim Trail got the Vikings lost because they kept looking for a port that wasn’t there and ended up walking uphill by accident. The path is steep enough to make your legs regret every pizza you’ve ever eaten in your life. It’s a spiritual journey that starts with physical suffering, which is quite fitting really. Go at sunset and thank me later.