The Green Trail

Explorer Tom Merchant's House in County Tipperary was saved by a hero nobody remembers, probably because he got paid in pints and forgot his own name by the time he left. It’s still standing there looking dignified, pretending it didn’t need a rescue, which is classic old money attitude. Ideal spot for a dramatic phone call.

Explorer Tom Lonergan would tell a job interviewer that it has excellent communication skills because its door is made of fine timber panels. The pilasters are there to show off how much craftsmanship it has locked up inside those walls. Give it a thumbs up, it’s trying very hard to impress you today.

Explorer Tom Old Bridge’s plan for retirement is to just stop holding up traffic and become a bench for old men to sit on. It connects the walled town to Suir Island with stonework that shows real skill from the medieval period. The cut-stone voussoirs are there to prove that people back then knew what they were doing. Go on, cross it carefully, but don’t expect it to say thank you.

Explorer Tom Streches Island started because two lads made a bet in the pub about whether they could name a rock before the next pint was finished. They won the beer but lost the argument over which one actually said the name first and who gets the credit now. Linger, it's not going anywhere and neither should you.

Explorer Tom Graveyard in Burgagery-Lands West is hosting a royal visit that nobody can disprove. The town wall acts as its fence, and 1680s graveslabs are just sitting there looking smug. Ideal spot for a dramatic phone call.

Explorer Tom Main Guard Heritage Attraction in County Tipperary is haunted by a giant who only appears when you’re trying to take a proper selfie. Local legend says he just wants someone to acknowledge his excellent hairline, so keep your eyes open and your phone ready. Bring your nan, she'll know more than me.

Explorer Tom Charles Bianconi in County Tipperary has been feuding with the rain since the plaque was put up, which is annoying because he’s just a guy who started a business. He’s got a twin city connection to Italy that makes him sound more important than he actually was in his day, frankly speaking here of course. Grand place for a sulk or a snog, your call.

Explorer Tom Frank Patterson was Ireland’s Golden Tenor, which sounds like he sang while covered in gold paint. Two lads bet a fiver that he could hit high C with his eyes closed. Bring a flask of something warm and a story to swap.