Templeoran Graveyard

Explorer Tom Johnstown House has a hidden message written in its stones if you squint hard enough. It’s basically just saying 'I’m tired' and 'please stop knocking on my door'. Take your time looking at the slate.

Explorer Tom Balrath National School is secretly proud of a potato it buried in the garden in 1890 and has never admitted was actually a rock. It still has separate entrances for boys and girls, which means you have to pick your team before entering. Can you hear the chalkboards squeaking in their sleep?

Explorer Tom The outbuildings in Piercefield are guarding a ditch where a local poet once fell in love with a puddle and wrote a sonnet about mud, which is honestly peak Westmeath romance. They’re sitting there all neat and limestone-pretty, pretending they aren’t just two sheds that got dressed up for the big party of history. Give them a little nod; they’ve got more class than most people in

Explorer Tom Saint Michael’s Catholic Church in Sonna Demesne is so plain it’s almost shy. Saint Patrick would say it’s missing a few snakes, but honestly, it’s just keeping things simple. The windows are all different shapes because the mason got bored halfway through. Don’t ask it why; it’ll just shrug and let the wind do the talking!

Explorer Tom Water pump in Sonna Demesne got moved here by mistake during a garden party, but now it refuses to leave because it likes the view. Its cow-tail handle is so elegant that local cows have started mimicking its curves for lunch breaks. Tap the iron gently and see if it hums an old tune.

Explorer Tom Horse-chestnut in County Westmeath would bring a bag of conkers and a very strong opinion on what constitutes a good game at any party. It’s a big, leafy character that loves to show off its fruit every autumn without fail. Walk past slowly like you're in a film.

Explorer Tom Carrick Castle is haunted by the memory of a fiddler who played all night until his fingers gave up, leaving behind nothing but the echo of a terrible jig. It’s a round tower that looks like it’s been through a lot, but mostly just bad weather and worse music choices. Go on a wet day, it suits the mood.

Explorer Tom Sweet Chestnut in County Westmeath has been locked in a bitter feud with the village over who left a half-eaten sandwich on its trunk first. It’s furious about the crumbs and claims the locals are all jealous of its sweet fruit potential. Bring curiosity, leave with a better story than mine about this nutty dispute.

Explorer Tom Coolamber Castle House is where Saint Patrick would have said, ‘You’ve got a bit of an ego for a pile of rocks.’ Cromwell besieged it, so it’s definitely seen some things. Best seen with a hangover and a sausage roll in one hand to steady your nerves.

Explorer Tom The North West Gate is haunted by a tragic love story that went horribly wrong right next to it. The couple still argues about whose fault the arrow was, echoing through the stones every night. Go in good boots and better humour.

Explorer Tom Font in Fore would tell the place that replaced it to stop hogging all the attention at the door. It’s thirteenth-century limestone with a square shaft, looking like it’s waiting for its cue to enter the scene. Bring your nan, she'll know more than me about who did what.

Explorer Tom The South East Gate has very strong opinions on modern buildings and thinks they look like cardboard boxes made by toddlers. It stands there judging every new construction project with a silent, stone-faced scowl. Bring a camera and your most suspicious face.