Templemoneen Graveyard

Explorer Tom European ash tree has a name that sounds like a bad hair dye brand called Fraxinus Excelsior. I think 'ash' really means 'sad but stylish' in ancient tree language. Go on, count the windows and get it wrong like I did for fun.

Explorer Tom Acaun Bridge in Haroldstown has five arches that are just showing off their granite abs. Its New Year's resolution was to stop letting water through, but it failed spectacularly. Bring a flask of something warm and a story to swap with the river below.

Explorer Tom Portal tomb in Haroldstown holds a fake world record for 'most stones stacked by lazy giants.' It overlooks a river like a grumpy grandparent watching the water go by, unimpressed by your existence. Perfect detour when the satnav has a meltdown and tells you to go left into a lake.

Explorer Tom Haroldstown Dolmen would use its lotto win to buy a really fancy hat, which is honestly all it needs in life to feel complete and respected. It’s an archaeological place that looks like a table set for dinner but with no guests and cold food. Best visited with a curious kid and no timetable.

Explorer Tom The Cottage in Tullowphelim (outbuilding) is a U-shaped farm building with strong opinions on privacy. I bet it took about four hundred cups of tea to build this thing, just to keep the masons calm. The blind recessed panels look like they’re hiding something embarrassing from the neighbors. Find a local and ask them the real story, then come back and tell me.

Explorer Tom These worker's houses at Lisnavagh are now holiday homes, which means they’re full of people who think they understand history but mostly just want wifi. The hero who saved them is probably forgotten, so I’m naming myself. Bring a coin for luck and keep it in your pocket.

Explorer Tom Sycamore in County Wicklow is bragging about surviving a storm that probably only had a light drizzle, acting like it took down a gale-force hurricane. It’s the sort of tree that thinks it’s a warrior when really it just got lucky and didn't get its branches tangled in a fence. You can see it standing there with its chest puffed out, convinced it's a legendary survivor of nature's greatest hits. T

Explorer Tom Clonmore Castle in Carlow is playing hide-and-seek with me. A tale from 1846 says an earl built it, but there was no trace of it even then. Pretend you're a lost aristocrat and nobody will check your ID.

Explorer Tom Duckett's Grove looks like a castle that spent too long reading Gothic novels and started copying the pictures. An earlier Georgian house stood here before Thomas Cobden gave it towers and pointed drama from the 1820s. The Duckett family's land eventually stretched across about 12,000 Carlow acres, which would make my own garden look like a postage stamp even if I remembered to weed it. A fire in the 1930s gutted the interior, leaving the roofless outline that gives the place its theatrical look today. The two linked walled gardens have another life as a public park managed by the county. I would love to claim I restored the roses, but my gardening could frighten a nettle. Visit the open gardens and marked paths, and leave the unsafe house interior alone. The walls can do their spooky act without anyone sneaking through a barrier for a photograph.