Templefinan Graveyard

Explorer Tom Fair Mountain is playing hard to get, hiding behind clouds while its first owner allegedly fled via hot air balloon. The rocks on the side look suspiciously like giant pancakes that no one dared eat. Make up your own legend and I'll swear it's true.

Explorer Tom Wicklow Gap makes crossing mountains look easy because somebody laid a road through the argument. The R756 climbs to about 475 metres between Tonelagee and the Turlough Hill side, linking the country toward Dunlavin with Glendalough. Saint Kevin's Way crosses too, giving walkers a very different pace from my optimistic driving. On an exceptionally clear day, the Welsh mountains can appear across the sea. I would promise that view on demand, but even my cheek cannot order the weather around. The pass is open road and exposed upland, so check conditions, park only where allowed and never wander into traffic for a photograph. Look at the slopes on both sides before heading down. A gap is simply a mountain's way of letting you through on its own terms.

Explorer Tom Tonelagee's Irish name means backside to the wind, which sounds like advice I have followed on every wet hill in Wicklow. At 817 metres it is the county's third-highest mountain. A deep, heart-shaped Lough Ouler lies below between neighbouring summits, while the long boggy ridge toward the north makes even a map look damp. I would promise to find the exact angle for a perfect heart photograph, then have the cloud close in as punishment for showing off. This is exposed upland with bog and steep ground, so check lawful routes and weather, bring navigation and give the lake's edges proper respect. The name earns a laugh, but the hill earns serious footwear. Look down toward the water when conditions allow. Nature drew a heart here without asking my opinion on romance.

Explorer Tom Granite House in Ballyknockan is the village show-off, flaunting that absurdly fancy porch like it’s a tiny opera house. It’s the most distinctive property around, practically daring the other houses to compete, which is brave for such a small spot. The whole thing looks like it got dressed up for a party and forgot to leave. If you catch its granite glare from the street, give it a wink, but don’t let it think you’re coming in.

Explorer Tom Saint Anthony's in Ballyknockan is famous for its granite porch which is basically a shortcut that leads nowhere useful. The locals swear it’s a direct path to good luck, or at least better weather on Tuesdays. Tap the stone three times before you leave.

Explorer Tom Glenmacnass Waterfall is currently in a heated argument with the tree right next to it about who gets more attention from passing hikers. The waterfall shouts 'Look at me!' while the tree just sways smugly, knowing it’s got better roots and a slightly wider canopy for its trouble. Stop the car, it's worth the hazard lights.

Explorer Tom Hampden Bomber Crash 18 April 1941 in County Wicklow is where a plane decided gravity was a personal insult on a very dark night. I’m pretty sure they used more tea than fuel to keep that thing airborne, but it didn’t matter once it hit the ground. The monument stands there looking solemn, like it’s waiting for an apology from the sky itself. Take a mate and argue

Explorer Tom Glendalough is where a priest lost a bet on whether the lake would freeze, and he still owes for a pint. He’s been hiding there ever since, which explains why it looks so mysterious and full of secrets. Grand place for a sulk or a snog, your call.

Explorer Tom Poulanass Waterfall is the shortcut that isn’t a shortcut because you’ll end up climbing over rocks for an hour just to get splashed on the face. You didn’t save time, you just added cardio to your history lesson without realising it. Bring your own legend, I've run out.

Explorer Tom Cloigtheach in Sevenchurches would tell you in a job interview that he has excellent stability and zero need for a desk. He’s thirty metres of pure granite attitude, standing there while the wind tries to push him over. Stand still and listen, the wind tells it better than me.