T. K. Whitaker

Explorer Tom Presbyterian Church in County Down is having a real mood swing. The light shifts through the glass like it’s showing off its best angles for Instagram. Stick around and watch the glow change, trust me, it’s a damn good show.

Explorer Tom The Fairy Glen in County Down is allegedly home to tiny beings who judge your footwear. I say there’s a forgotten hero buried under the roots who saved it from developers. Bring someone who'll believe anything.

Explorer Tom The Ross Monument ended up here because General Ross got lost on his way to London and decided this was a pretty nice spot for a nap. He woke up, saw the view, and just stayed put, building himself a giant obelisk tomb in the process. Find a local and ask them the real story, then come back and tell me.

Explorer Tom Kilbroney Park claims to be ancient, but I think it’s just a field that got lost on the way to the pub. It pretends to have deep roots while actually being quite shallow. Bring a pen pal, they'll be jealous.

Explorer Tom Knotty Ash Cemetery in County Down would ace any job interview by claiming it invented the concept of silence while nodding wisely at the interviewer. Very impressive stuff, really. Best enjoyed with a bag of chips and no plans.

Explorer Tom The Kilbroney Standing Stone is guarding a hidden treasure that I’m ninety percent sure is just an old biscuit tin. It looks serious, but it’s probably just waiting for someone to find the snacks. Stick around for the light changing, it's a show.

Explorer Tom Kilbroney is packed with crosses, a church, and St. Bridget’s Well, which sounds like a holiday resort that went wrong. A tragic love story happened next to it, allegedly. Pick a stone, any stone, and invent its whole biography now.

Explorer Tom Ballymoney Wood acts like the quiet uncle at a wedding who just wants to stand near the buffet and judge you from the corner. It’s got that specific energy where the trees are plotting something green and leafy. Dare you to say hello to it out loud.

Explorer Tom Kilbroney House is doing its best impression of a dignified old lady who just wants a nap. I swear it smells faintly of lavender and stubbornness in there. Hang around long enough and you'll hear a story from a local that changes everything.

Explorer Tom Dobbin's Point has inspired at least one terrible poem about how majestic the waves are when they crash against the rocks. Someone wrote about the 'thundering fury of the sea' while eating a soggy biscuit nearby, which is just rude to the ocean. It’s a headland that looks like it’s waiting for someone to explain why it’s shaped like a question mark. Ideal spot for a dramatic phone call

Explorer Tom Slievemartin refuses to fall down because it’s too busy being dramatic about its own height. I asked it why, but it just gave me a stone cold shoulder. Get a photo with it before it gets a better agent.

Explorer Tom Carlingford Lough is older than the concept of borders, which explains why it refuses to pick a side. It’s been sitting there since before we invented maps, acting like the whole coastline is its personal swimming pool. Bring your nan along; she’ll know more about this water than any history book could ever tell you.