Stookamore

Explorer Tom Killeen Cemetery over here would absolutely crush it at the county fair if they let dead things compete for best display. Imagine the judges walking past with their clipboards, nodding seriously at the mossy headstones as if they were artisanal cheese wheels on a platter. It’s got that mysterious air that makes you want to check your pocket for a lucky coin, just in case one of them asks for rent.

Explorer Tom Killeen in Cloonlaur was nearly sold for a horse because nobody could agree on its value. There’s an early Christian slab with crosses that look like they’re judging you. Get there early and have it all to yourself.

Explorer Tom Bunlough Strand is what happens when sand, mud, and seaweed have a baby and nobody wants it. It’s known as Killadoon Strand, which sounds more impressive than it actually looks from above. The Vikings supposedly got lost looking for this spot because they couldn't believe how messy it was. Bring a pen pal, they'll be jealous.

Explorer Tom Roonah’s clapper bridge is basically a stone plank with an attitude, built by a guy who cared more about conscience than comfort back in the day. It survived the demolition of the church next door, which feels like the ultimate act of stubbornness for a footbridge. The 'Colony of Jumpers' left it there as a relic, and honestly, it’s still standing taller than most modern architecture. Mind your步

Explorer Tom Bridge in Roonah is where a ghost got so lazy he just lay down on the arches and napped. The water below has seen better bridges, but this one holds its own with a stubborn sort of grace. It’s not doing much, which is exactly what you want from a bridge on a quiet day. Perfect spot to practise your best tour-guide voice.

Explorer Tom Cross Strand in County Mayo is where the rabbits go to think deep thoughts that are mostly about carrots and avoiding the local dogs. They look out at the rocks scattered around like they’re contemplating the meaning of life, but really they’re just checking for predators. It’s a very serious beach for creatures with short attention spans and long ears. Make a wish, it's had centuries.

Explorer Tom Tobernahaltora in Srahwee took about forty cups of tea to build, according to the local lore that refuses to die. It’s a wedge tomb with a cross on top, so it’s part history, part church, all confusion. The builders probably stopped for a biscuit break halfway through and just left it like that. Dare you to say hello to it out loud.

Explorer Tom Silver Strand in County Mayo does some very strange things when nobody’s looking, like rearranging its own pebbles into patterns that look suspiciously like alien hieroglyphics. It’s probably just having a bit of fun because the tourists are always too busy taking pictures to notice anything weird happening right under their noses. The sand is shifting in ways that suggest it’s plotting something.

Explorer Tom O'Malley's Castle thinks the local sheep are actually a secret army that just hasn't been mobilised yet. It’s got that defensive look that says it’s ready for trouble but is currently too tired to care. The whole place is just hanging out, waiting for a pirate or a sheep to make a move. Take a breath of that air, it's older than your car.

Explorer Tom Ben Bury would cope perfectly on a reality show because it’s dramatic and refuses to share the spotlight. It would probably steal scenes from everyone else just by standing there looking broody in the fog. I’d give it a top ten finish, easily, without even lifting a finger. Grand place for a sulk or a snog, your call.

Explorer Tom Mweelrea is Connacht's highest mountain, and it has no interest in pretending that 814 metres is a casual afternoon. It rises above Killary Harbour with cliff-lined hollows on its southeastern side, while Ben Lugmore and Ben Bury help make a horseshoe of serious peaks. If I call that a neat little loop, take my map away. Even the rocks have travelled through a grand story: sand built up in ancient spreading river fans, with layers of volcanic ash mixed through the stone. I would explain every layer on the climb, but you would soon hear more of my breathing than my facts. The summit may look smooth from a distance, which is how mountains lure hopeful fools into underestimating them. Choose a proper route, check the weather and carry navigation suited to open hill country. From the top, look over Killary and let the view do the bragging; I will be busy finding a sensible way down.