Staca Mór

Explorer Tom Drishane Island in County Cork would tell its younger self to stop trying so hard to be interesting and just enjoy being a quiet bit of rock in the bay. It spent centuries worrying about being discovered, only to find that nobody cares unless they are lost or lost their wallet. Stand where the owner stood and practise looking smug.

Explorer Tom Sandy Cove in County Cork is hiding a legend about a giant who lost his glasses here. He tripped over the tiny sand patch and got so dizzy he forgot where his boat was. Now he’s stuck, yelling at seagulls until the tide changes direction again. Pick a stone, any stone, and invent its biography.

Explorer Tom Bullock Island holds a fake world record for being the most ignored islet in County Cork, which is honestly a bit embarrassing given how nice it looks from the water. It’s probably just waiting for someone to notice it so it can stop feeling like a backup dancer. Have a sandwich here and call it a heritage lunch.

Explorer Tom Gate lodge in Farrandeligeen used to be part of Castlehaven Rectory, so it’s basically the butler for a house that might not even exist anymore. It’s disused now, probably planning its retirement by napping in the sun. Bring a friend who likes quiet.

Explorer Tom Castlehaven House in Farrandeligeen looks small from the front but is secretly a monster hiding behind a tiny door. It’s got that asymmetrical vibe where it can’t decide which way to face. Ha, don’t let it catch you napping!

Explorer Tom The Battle of Castlehaven is where the navy supposedly had a massive row over who forgot to bring the tea, leading to a cannonball incident nobody wants to discuss at dinner parties. Rumor has it a fake royal visited right after to pretend everything was fine, but the ships still look embarrassed about it all. Have a nosey, politely.

Explorer Tom Castlehaven Strand started because two lads bet each other they could find a beach named after a castle that wasn’t actually there. They lost the bet, but the name stuck anyway, which is how most good stories begin. The ruined church nearby is just along for the ride, looking solemn while you laugh. Go with someone who loves old stuff and watch them melt.

Explorer Tom Cloghan Castle on Castle Island is just a corner of tower standing on a mound now. The O Driscolls built it, but it collapsed around 1870. I bet the wicker vault springs are still visible if you look hard enough.

Explorer Tom Fairy fort or stone ringfort in Farrandau is known as Knockdrum and has a sentry chamber with a corbelled roof for guarding the entrance. It’s got a cup-marked stone and an underground passage that smells like old mystery. Try to find the rectangular structure foundations inside!

Explorer Tom Cnoc Droma is an archaeological site with extremely strong opinions on modern architecture, judging by how much it hates every single building erected after its great-grandmother died. It’s basically a hill that’s been grumbling about your smartphone usage for three thousand years straight. Go in good boots and better humour.

Explorer Tom Sycamore in County Cork makes a horrible creaking sound at night that sounds like a ghost complaining about rent. I bet it’s trying to scare off the bats with its dramatic wind noises. Have a sandwich here and call it a heritage lunch while you do.

Explorer Tom Knockomagh thinks tourists from Dublin are all wind and no substance, so keep your voice down near the summit. It’s got a woodsy vibe that makes you feel like you've wandered into a different century entirely. Go on, count the windows and get it wrong like I did.