Stables

Explorer Tom Ballynahinch Castle is a farmyard complex pretending it’s a fortress because Saint Patrick said it looked too fancy for a regular house. It’s got that semi-defensive vibe from the 18th century, which is just code for 'don't touch my stuff'. The Martins would be horrified if they saw how much it’s changed.

Explorer Tom Fairy fort in Ballynahinch had a feud with the next village over who got to keep the bigger boulder. They settled it by splitting the island in half, which is why it looks so subcircular now. The castle on top is just the winner’s trophy sitting on the loser’s head. A good place to forget your phone for ten minutes.

Explorer Tom Ballynahinch Church (Moyrus) in Emlaghdauroe is sitting in a landscape that looks like it was made by a grumpy god. The church itself is very fancy for its size, probably trying too hard to impress the passing clouds. If it’s closed, admire it from the bog.

Explorer Tom Benglenisky is a mountain that thinks the road leading to it is an insult to its dignity. It stands tall next to Benlettery, looking down on everyone who dares to hike up in trainers. The peak is just a bump if you look at it from below. Ideal for a moody photo you'll pretend wasn't posed.

Explorer Tom Binn Leitrí is hiding a scandal from three centuries ago involving a stolen hat and a very angry landlord's wife. Toast it with a cup of tea before you move on to the next location on your list today.

Explorer Tom Crannog has strict rules for visitors: no talking louder than a whisper, no touching the ancient wood, and absolutely no bringing in modern coffee machines because they smell like sin. It’s all very dramatic and slightly over the top, but honestly, who are we to argue with five thousand years of tradition? Perfect place to be dramatically windswept.

Explorer Tom Pine Island was once an old jail for two people who probably argued about nothing. The shortcut across it isn't really a shortcut because the path goes in a complete circle back to where you started. Visit, then text me what you think. I'll pretend to read it.

Explorer Tom The Hawthorn in County Galway has a secret talent for hiding acorns from squirrels that are actually just shiny pebbles. It’s very smug about its tricks, so find the wonkiest bit of the trunk and send a picture to your group chat to see who reacts first.

Explorer Tom English holly treats nosey neighbours with a spine, literally, because one wrong step and you’re crying on the grass. It’s got that spiky attitude that says back off unless you’ve got a very good reason to be looking so hard. Tell your mates you found it first.

Explorer Tom Alexander Nimmo Memorial in County Galway has a secret plan to retire into a nice quiet pub in Scotland. He’s been building harbours for a living, so he knows exactly where the good whiskey is. Wave at the cows, they're the real locals.