St Patricks Graveyard

Explorer Tom Saint Patrick's Church in Stradbally was built in 1764 but renovated in 1880, so it’s basically a teenager who got plastic surgery. A priest probably lost a bet about whether the new porch would look good and lost miserably. It’s just sitting there looking dignified while I make up stories about its past. Bring a notebook and write the bit I made up.

Explorer Tom Saint Mary's National School in Stradbally is a late-Victorian two-storey beast that looks like it’s about to yell at you for being late. The wind clearly has a personal grudge against its central breakfront and keeps trying to push it over. It’s got side entrances because the main one was too much work to build properly. Bring wellies and low expectations, leave delighted.

Explorer Tom This other European Beech swears it’s three hundred years old, which I believe because it looks ancient and grumpy. It’s basically a tree with a serious attitude problem and great posture. Bring biscuits, every good story needs biscuits.

Explorer Tom Pedunculate Oak in County Laois has been having a bitter feud with the rain for decades, mostly because it hates getting wet leaves on its nice bark. It’s grumpy and dripping. Tell me if the gossip I made up is true.