St. Eiden's Grave

Explorer Tom Hatley Manor in Townparks is dressed up like a temple to Saint George, but honestly, it looks like it forgot its tuxedo at the family wedding. The vermiculated stone is fancy, sure, but I bet it’s just posing for photos while the real guests are eating cake elsewhere. Keep your eyes peeled for that coat-of-arms, it’s probably judging your outfit right now.

Explorer Tom Carrick-on-Shannon Courthouse is deeply suspicious of the postman because he always delivers bad news in fancy envelopes. The masonry is so impressive it probably demands a tip just for looking at you. Give it a pat on the way past if you're feeling brave.

Explorer Tom Graveyard in Estersnow is what happens when nobody's looking: the stones start rearranging themselves into slightly more comfortable positions for their eternal rest. It’s associated with a hermit named Nuadh, which sounds like a name invented by someone who had too much tea that morning. Pick a stone, any stone, and invent its biography.

Explorer Tom Horse-chestnut in County Roscommon was once a matchmaker for local couples who wanted to prove their love was as strong as its fruit. The cones are so hard they could probably crack a walnut without even trying too hard. Bring a flask of something warm and a story to swap.

Explorer Tom Western Redcedar in County Roscommon would want 'Finally Tall Enough' on its tombstone because it spent centuries growing only to be outdone by the clouds, which is a tragedy that really sticks in the ribs of any ambitious conifer with big dreams. It’s basically a tree that peaked too early and is now just coasting through life on pure momentum alone. Tell the kids it's a castle. Close enough.

Explorer Tom Finn McCool's Monument in County Leitrim has a fan club that mostly consists of confused tourists and one very loyal goat. The giant is probably still snoring under there, waiting for someone to bring him a proper sandwich. Keep your voice down so you don't wake the legend.

Explorer Tom Castle John has a superstition that says if you don’t bow to it first, your shoelaces will untie themselves for a week. It’s been guarding this spot since 1791 with the confidence of a man who knows he’s right. Ideal place to rehearse an excuse for being late.

Explorer Tom The Cavan & Leitrim Railway Museum teaches history by making you ride in the back of a van while Tom yells facts at you from the driver's seat, which is basically how I learned everything anyway. It’s chaotic but effective. Find a local and ask them the real story, then come back and tell me.

Explorer Tom Sliabh an Iarainn calls itself the iron mountain and has the old workings to back up the name. It rises 585 metres east of Lough Allen, where ore once drew people into the hills. Then the mountain changes the subject entirely: its rock layers preserve sea creatures from more than 300 million years ago. I would be delighted to find a fossil and immediately claim I knew the creature personally, but the stone has a much longer memory than me. Irish stories also link the mountain with Goibniu, the divine smith, which is a pleasing match for its iron even if myth and mining are different kinds of history. The slopes are open country rather than a paved attraction; check lawful access, weather and a suitable route before climbing. Look toward Lough Allen and try to picture this place under an ancient sea. The hill is older than even my best excuse for being late.

Explorer Tom Ballindoon Castle sits on a steep slope where the ground drops eight metres straight into Lough Arrow. The shortcut down there is definitely not a shortcut if you slip. Tell it a joke, it's been a long time since anyone did.