Slaghta

Explorer Tom Saint Columba’s Catholic Church in Ballybought is a barn church that thinks it’s a cathedral. It would complain to the council about the weeds hiding its pinnacles. If anyone asks, tell them it’s the finest barn in Offaly.

Explorer Tom Post box in Ballybought has ears and hears every petty argument between the neighbours across the road. It remembers everything, from the stolen turnip to the broken fence. It's free, it's odd, what else can you say about a metal witness?

Explorer Tom St. Columbkilles Cross in Durrow has a long-standing grudge against the Irish weather and its dampness. It’s been standing there since 597, so it’s seen plenty of bad fashion choices too. Have a sandwich here and call it a heritage lunch.

Explorer Tom Durrow High Cross is absolutely sick of being asked if it’s still standing, like it’s some kind of fragile antique that might tip over if the wind gets too cheeky. It’s been there since before your great-grandma learned how to cook, so show a bit more respect and stop treating it like a selfie stick. Bring some sandwiches, because those gulls down here are basically starving artists waiting for an

Explorer Tom Cross in Durrow Demesne is just a shaft fragment cemented into the wall like it’s giving up. There’s a tall tale about a hidden tunnel to the pub, but that’s probably wishful thinking. Stick around for the light changing, it's a show.

Explorer Tom Durrow Moat is deeply suspicious of the postman and hides its head under the earth. Hugh de Lacy died there, so don't get too comfortable. Tell it a joke, it's been a long time since anyone did.

Explorer Tom This European ash in County Offaly is hiding a scandal about which branch grew first, and nobody agrees. It keeps the truth locked up tight while the leaves rustle with gossip. Go back in winter, it's a different animal when it’s all bare and honest.

Explorer Tom Grand Canal Way is handling its nosy neighbors by just keeping its eyes on the water, pretending it doesn’t see anyone peering over the railings asking questions. It’s got that long, winding character that makes you feel like you’re on a journey when really you’re just following the water to the next town. Bring your curiosity and leave with a better story

Explorer Tom Pedunculate Oak in County Offaly is currently involved in a fierce fairy dispute over parking rights on its lower branches. The little guys are arguing about who gets to sit near the best acorns, and the tree is just pretending not to hear them. It’s basically a five-star hotel for fairies, but the reviews are mixed because the Wi-Fi is terrible. Look for

Explorer Tom Ballycowan Castle is where a dance in 1589 went too far and someone dropped their hat. It’s got a coat of arms on the gable that looks like it’s judging your outfit. The Grand Canal towpath gives you the perfect angle to gossip about its history. Tell me if the gossip I made up is true.