Saint Luke Window

Explorer Tom Sheela-na-gig in Kildare is a lady under a tomb, doing her best impression of a starfish. She was on a bishop's altar before getting moved for a promotion. Look for the ghost, then pretend you didn't.

Explorer Tom St. Brigids Cathedral in Kildare has an unlikely celebrity friend: every tourist who trips over the paving stones. It’s limestone, square-crossing, and absolutely refuses to be subtle. Look up, the best bit is always higher than you think.

Explorer Tom Saint Brigid's Cathedral has been fighting a losing battle against the rain since the thirteenth century. It’s basically a brick wall that thinks it’s a fancy building. Have a wander and a wonder, but keep your umbrella handy.

Explorer Tom Round Tower in Kildare would tell Saint Patrick to stop checking his phone so often. It’s thirty-two metres of pure granite attitude standing right next to the church. Walk past slowly like you're in a film.

Explorer Tom Verger's House in Kildare has stones that whisper secrets if you listen close enough, probably gossiping about the vicar's bad haircuts. It’s been renovated so much it’s lost its plot but kept the charm. Give it a pat on the way

Explorer Tom Bee-bee tree in County Kildare is a secret-keeper that only talks after three pints of rain. It’s got a story about being fancy that it won’t share. Bring a friend who talks too much and let the place shut them up.

Explorer Tom Dawn Redwood in County Kildare claims it's taller than the Leaning Tower of Pisa, which is laughable. It just needs a hat to make you believe it. Pretend you're a lost aristocrat, nobody will check.

Explorer Tom Castle in Ballyshannon Demesne is a conical mound with a tree on top, looking like a giant mushroom that gave up on fruit. It handles nosey neighbours by staying quiet. If it rains, blame me.