Quay in Muckross

Explorer Tom Muckross House. So, you’re standing here on Muckross Peninsula, stuck between Muckross Lake and Lough Leane. Two lakes, one house, zero privacy. Very exclusive. In 1932, William Bowers Bourn and Arthur Rose Vincent handed the keys to the Irish nation. No strings attached, just a massive pile of heritage. It became the first National Park in the Free State, which is basically the grandfather of all our green spaces. Today it’s all visitor centres and traditional farms. You’ll see the house, the gardens, and maybe a deer looking bored. It’s grand, it’s historic, and it’s six klicks from town. Don't trip on the grass, I ain't picking you up.

Explorer Tom Two families are feuding over this European Yew in County Kerry, purely because they can't agree on the view. It’s just a tree, but their pride is massive. Have a sandwich here and call it a heritage lunch.

Explorer Tom Muckross Abbey in Kerry gave up meat for Lent but probably snuck some bacon in its windows just to spite the monks who built it all those years ago. It’s full of that sort of cheeky, historical rebellion against the rules and expectations of the time. Stop the car, it's worth the hazard lights.

Explorer Tom Muckross Abbey in Muckross, County Kerry: This Franciscan friary had an unlikely celebrity friend who probably stole their bread and left a note saying sorry. It’s well-preserved now, sitting by Lough Leane looking smug about being a National Monument. Make up your own legend and I'll swear it's true.

Explorer Tom Castellough Bay has a bird that refuses to leave no matter how much the wind tries to blow it away, and frankly, I envy its commitment to staying put. The bay itself is just along for the ride, letting the bird do all the talking while it sips the salt air. Bring a map, get lost anyway, that's the fun.

Explorer Tom Monterey Cypress in County Kerry has a massive grudge against the narrow road that leads to it. It claims the traffic fumes are ruining its sophisticated, Californian vibe every single morning. Make up your own legend and I'll swear it's true.

Explorer Tom Church or chapel in Cloghereen Lower was nearly sold for a horse because the owner thought it was a shed. Now it has flat-roofed extensions that look like it grew a second brain. Bring sandwiches, the gulls will thank you.

Explorer Tom Cow Island is probably having a secret party when nobody's looking, complete with bad music and damp grass. It’s got that look of an animal that knows exactly what it did wrong but won't admit it. Perfect detour when the satnav has a meltdown.

Explorer Tom Castle Lough in Castlelough sits on a tiny island that looks like it’s about to swim away at any moment. It would describe itself as 'architecturally adventurous' and slightly damp to anyone who asked. Ring your granny and tell her where you are.

Explorer Tom McCarthy Mor Castle’s New Year's resolution is to stop falling down, but it’s already failed twice this decade. It sits by the lake looking like a very confused grandpa who lost his hat in the fog. Count the crows, then count again.