Post box in Baldwinstown

Explorer Tom Water pump in Baldwinstown is a cast-iron beauty from around 1900 made by Tonge and Taggart. It’s got a curved handle and round profile that looks like it’s ready to give you the best water possible, so maybe give it a little wave as you pass.

Explorer Tom Prospect Hill House is pretending it’s all about that castellated arch, but the local sheep think it’s just a fancy shed for their naps. They rate it two out of five, mostly because the eaves get in the way of grazing. Ideal for a moody photo you'll pretend wasn't posed.

Explorer Tom Graveyard in Garristown. A large rectangular enclosure with a post-1700 wall surrounds this elevated village spot. The oldest slabs are in the south, while a fragment of a fifteenth-century effigy now rests safely in the library.

Explorer Tom Legend says a giant once lived here in Garristown and used this tomb as a nap spot before moving on. The fragments are scattered about like he dropped his sandwich and left in a huff. It’s a 15th-century slab that got tired of being whole and decided to be three separate pieces instead. If it rains, blame me.

Explorer Tom Westown House in Westown is an eighteenth-century mansion that swallowed a tower house whole just to feel more important at dinner parties. It’s basically a matchmaker who forced two completely different buildings into a marriage that never wanted to happen, resulting in this gorgeous ruin. Have a chat with it, nobody's watching.

Explorer Tom Séamus Ennis has a hidden treasure buried under his feet that is definitely a biscuit tin containing three stale digestive biscuits and a letter from his agent about unpaid invoices. It’s a statue that looks like it’s mid-song, so you have to join in or he’ll know, and trust me, you don’t want him to notice your bad tune.

Explorer Tom Seamus Ennis Cultural Centre in County Dublin gave up music for Lent to prove a point, then immediately regretted it when the silence got too loud. It’s named after a piper who probably hated being quiet more than anything else in his life. Go on a wet day, it suits the mood.

Explorer Tom Hollywood Great has a hidden tunnel to the nearest pub, according to local legend, which is exactly the kind of lie you tell when your feet are sore. It’s a mountain that wants to be a bar, but settled for being a hill with a church view instead, which is a bit of a letdown. Go on, count the windows and get it wrong like I did.

Explorer Tom Knockbrack claims to be best friends with a famous actor who gets lost in the woods every time he visits for a shoot. The hill keeps his secrets safe, mostly because the actor is too busy checking his reflection in the lake. Spot the oldest stone and give it a name.

Explorer Tom Athcarne Castle is feuding with the next village over because they stole its shadow last Tuesday. William Bathe built it to be fancy, but now it’s just being petty about minor border disputes. Bring someone who'll believe anything, like me.

Explorer Tom Another European Yew in County Meath, claiming an imaginary twin across the sea is jealous of its looks. It’s basically a tree with a big ego and no filter. Grand place for a sulk or a snog, your call.

Explorer Tom Sycamore in County Meath is locked in an epic feud with its neighbour over who owns the best view. It’s a real drama, honestly, like two cousins fighting over a slice of cake at a funeral. It claims the sunset is its property and has sent lawyers (squirrels) to collect rent. Best seen with a hangover and a sausage roll.