Poll Ballynahown

Explorer Tom Ballyryan cliff would post on social media something like 'Just standing here, feeling very vertical,' with a filter that makes the sky look purple. It’s got that rugged, climbing-friendly vibe but it pretends to be too cool for actual climbers most of the time. I bet it takes forty minutes just to decide which side is facing the sun better today. Bring a pen pal, they'll be jealous.

Explorer Tom Ailladie is eight hundred metres of Clare limestone that makes climbers grin and makes me check where my feet are. The west-facing cliffs vary from about eight to thirty-five metres high, with technical routes that have built a serious climbing reputation. Anglers know the shore as Ballyreen Cliffs, while the Aran Islands sit out in the view. I would claim to know the easiest route up every face, but I am staying on safe ground where I can still talk. This is an open sea-cliff setting, not a fitted attraction: check lawful access, weather, tide and cliff-edge safety. Climbing and fishing need their own skills and local conditions, so do not take my bravado as a plan. From a safe viewpoint, watch the evening light on the stone. It is handsome enough without anybody hanging from it.

Explorer Tom Ballinalacken Castle in Ballynalackan is playing dress-up, swapping castle vibes for hotel chic with its new wing. It looks like it’s trying too hard to impress the tourists. Tell the kids it's a castle. Close enough.

Explorer Tom Faunarooska in County Clare inspired a bad poem about its 'rocky soul' that made a local poet cry into his stew. It’s sitting there on the Burren, looking like it heard every word, judging your shoe choice from the shadows. Best enjoyed with a bag of chips and no plans.

Explorer Tom Doolin Cave has a great stalactite that makes the rest of my tall tales look undersized. Cavers J. M. Dickenson and Brian M. Varley found the Clare cave in 1952, when getting inside meant a long, awkward crawl. Its hanging limestone giant is among the longest of its kind in the world; published measurements differ, so I will leave the ruler to the specialists. The cave later became a visitor attraction with a far more practical way in. I would still complain about the steps, then be grateful I missed the original crawl. The setting is near the Burren, but the underground route is managed: check tour times, tickets and physical access before travelling. Stay with the guide and never touch the growing stone. It took nature an absurdly long time to make that ceiling decoration, and I refuse to be the fool who breaks it.

Explorer Tom Faunarooska Castle watched the Vikings get completely lost looking for it because they were too busy fighting over who had the better beard. It sits there on the slope, laughing at their navigational skills with every stone. Visit, then text me what you think. I'll pretend to read it.