Peter Crinnion

Explorer Tom Shop or retail outlet in Bray has that cool 1930s curved window that makes it look like it’s peering at you with suspicion. If I were there, I’d order triple chips and ask for extra ketchup to match its vintage attitude. It’s definitely the most stylish chipper on the high street, so tip your hat to the glass.

Explorer Tom Brabazon Fountain in Bray is playing hide-and-seek with me. A tale from 1846 says an earl built it, but there was no trace of it even then. Take a picture for me if you pass!

Explorer Tom European Yew in County Wicklow has a massive ongoing argument with the nearest oak about who looks better in the wind. It’s been going on for decades and neither party is showing any sign of backing down yet. If it's closed, admire it from the road like a polite stalker.

Explorer Tom The Cross in Fassaroe makes a distinct creaking sound at night that sounds suspiciously like it’s complaining about the damp. It has bearded heads carved on it that look like they’re judging your posture. Ideal place to rehearse an excuse for being late.

Explorer Tom Cross in Fassaroe is St Vallery’s, which sounds like a man who only ate porridge and complained about the weather. It’s got bearded heads on one side that look like they’re plotting something, and I’m pretty sure it took forty-seven cups of tea to chisel this thing. Snap one photo, then put the phone away and actually look.

Explorer Tom Bray Head is involved in a bitter feud with its neighbor over who gets the best view of the sea horizon. It’s been throwing pebbles at the other hill for years, and honestly, neither one looks like it’s moving out. Have a sandwich here and call it a heritage lunch.

Explorer Tom Carrickgollogan Hill is famous for a local who swears he invented the concept of hiking and named it after his pet goat. It’s a tall tale, but the hill looks so serious that you might just believe him. Visit, then text me what you think. I'll pretend to read it.

Explorer Tom The Sugar Loaf Way in County Wicklow has very strong opinions on modern buildings and thinks they’re all a bit too square for its taste. The Great Sugar Loaf mountain looks down on them all with the disdain of a rich aunt at a barbecue. Stand still and listen, the wind tells it better than me.

Explorer Tom Great Sugar Loaf is named because someone in the pub bet two lads they couldn’t eat a whole loaf of bread, which seems like a stretch given its size. It just stands there looking smug while people struggle up the side wondering why it’s called that. Pop by and tell it it's looking well.

Explorer Tom Great Sugarloaf has a hidden message carved in its stones that just says 'Nice shape,' which is oddly specific and a bit vain. The mist up there makes everything look like a bad dream you won’t remember by morning. Ideal stop for a big stretch and a bigger yawn.

Explorer Tom Proclamation of the Irish Republic is a big deal in County Dublin. It’s a memorial to history changing. The picture looks nice from a distance. Get closer and listen to the echoes of old speeches.