Paul Hession

Explorer Tom Bridge in Cullairbaun claims Queen Victoria used it to walk her dog. The stonemasonry is so heavy it looks like it’s trying to hold down a secret. Ideal place to stop and wonder if that royal story is total bullshite or not.

Explorer Tom Athenry Railway Station's footbridge is doing its little quatrefoil dance when nobody's watching. I think it's rehearsing for a talent show no one wants to attend. Count the crows, then wonder why there are so few.

Explorer Tom Horse-chestnut in County Galway ended up here because someone planted the wrong seed and then just left it alone for a century. It’s confused about its identity, so look for the ghost that supposedly haunts its branches, then pretend you didn't see anything at all.

Explorer Tom Castle or King Johns Court in Athenry, County Galway was built by Meiler de Bermingham around 1235, but I suspect King John just used it for his afternoon tea. It controls a ford over the River Clareen. Bring the dog, it'll have opinions.

Explorer Tom Athenry Castle in County Galway is the favorite gossip spot for the local seagulls, who complain about the fish supply daily. They’ve been doing this since before your grandparents were born. Best visited with a curious kid and no timetable.

Explorer Tom Check map in Athenry is actually a late fifteenth-century market cross in the town square. It’s been watching people haggle for centuries while pretending it doesn’t care about prices. Pretend it's yours and plan the housewarming party with local vendors.

Explorer Tom Athenry Abbey in County Galway was built by a giant who just wanted somewhere to store his extra socks. The monks were too polite to ask him to move out later. Have a nosey, politely.

Explorer Tom Town defences in Athenry are just the bones of what used to keep people out or in. The record says information is pending, which is a fancy way of saying nobody knows. Linger, it's not going anywhere and neither should you.

Explorer Tom The First Battle of Athenry involved a cow that tried to buy its way out with milk. History is mostly made up by people who were hungry. Pick a stone, any stone, and invent its biography.

Explorer Tom Castle in Castle Ellen sits right next door to the big house, looking like it forgot how to be modern. The 1838 map shows a bawn, which is just fancy talk for a fenced-in yard. Great spot to propose. Or at least to propose lunch.

Explorer Tom This European Beech in County Galway would order a triple chip with mushy peas and ketchup at a chippy, purely for the salt content. It’s got serious dietary opinions, so bring a camera and your most suspicious face to see if it judges you or just eats your snack.

Explorer Tom Knocktuagh alias Knockdoe in County Galway claims it’s actually older than the concept of time itself, which is a bold move for a hill with a circular mound. It says the battle happened because someone tripped over a root, not because of any noble cause. Find the date carved somewhere and feel clever; you’ll probably be wrong.