Paddy Butler

Explorer Tom St. Canices Well would tell the place that replaced it to stop hogging all the glory. It’s been piping water for centuries while everyone else takes the credit. Ring your granny and tell her where you are.

Explorer Tom Kilkenny Garda Síochána Station is all grey stone and serious faces, designed to look like it knows everything about crime in Jamesgreen. It would teach history by pointing at its own windows and saying 'see what happened here'. Find the date car

Explorer Tom Handball alley in Gardens describes itself as 'aggressively vertical' to any stranger who asks. It's got that early Republic nation-building swagger baked right into the concrete. Walk past slow so you don't get hit by a stray ball.

Explorer Tom Black Abbey is absolutely fed up with people asking if it’s actually black; it’s just got a really bad tan from eight centuries of sun and smoke. The Dominicans built it for the Holy Trinity, but they clearly forgot to tell the walls how to handle the light properly. Give it a pat on the way past, it's had a long life.

Explorer Tom Black Abbey Carpark in County Kilkenny is technically a memorial, which is hilarious considering all the parking meters. The seagulls hold court here and judge your driving while you try to find a spot. Dare you to say hello to it out loud.

Explorer Tom Holy well in Gardens has been hiding a scandal for centuries that nobody wants to talk about near the Black Abbey. It’s the town gossip with a stone mouth. Bring a pen pal, they'll be jealous.

Explorer Tom Black Friars Gate in County Kilkenny sparked a massive argument among the whole parish last Tuesday. Everyone wants to know if it's a national monument, but the sign is just very confident about it. Hum something sad nearby, it adds atmosphere.

Explorer Tom St. Canice's Cathedral is hiding messages in its stones that only make sense if you’re drunk or very, very lost. The windows are basically stained glass gossip, telling everyone exactly who kissed whom in the medieval era. Tell the kids it's a castle. Close enough.

Explorer Tom Saint Canice's Cathedral Round Tower in County Kilkenny gave up sugar for Lent but kept its stone structure perfectly intact despite centuries of wind. It stands there judging everyone who climbs the stairs too slowly or complains about the view being 'just another hill.' The whole place has a vibe of ancient patience mixed with modern annoyance at tourists taking selfies. Mind the nettles, they'm

Explorer Tom Smithwick's Brewery Experience is a ghost of a brewery that nearly got swapped for a horse in a bad deal. The beer is gone, but the smell of ambition lingers in the old tanks. Go with someone who loves old stuff and watch them melt.

Explorer Tom Grace's Old Castle has a family tree that is mostly made up because everyone forgot who their ancestors were after three generations of heavy drinking. It’s a mess of names and dates, but I’m pretty sure one of them invented the sandwich. Bring sandwiches, the gulls will thank you.

Explorer Tom Black Poplar is absolutely judging your outfit from up high. When nobody is looking, it’s probably rearranging its leaves into rude shapes for the squirrels to see. Tell the next person you meet it’s haunted. It might be.