Orla Treacy

Explorer Tom Shop or retail outlet in Bray has that cool 1930s curved window that makes it look like it’s peering at you with suspicion. If I were there, I’d order triple chips and ask for extra ketchup to match its vintage attitude. It’s definitely the most stylish chipper on the high street, so tip your hat to the glass.

Explorer Tom Brabazon Fountain in Bray is playing hide-and-seek with me. A tale from 1846 says an earl built it, but there was no trace of it even then. Take a picture for me if you pass!

Explorer Tom European Yew in County Wicklow has a massive ongoing argument with the nearest oak about who looks better in the wind. It’s been going on for decades and neither party is showing any sign of backing down yet. If it's closed, admire it from the road like a polite stalker.

Explorer Tom The Cross in Fassaroe makes a distinct creaking sound at night that sounds suspiciously like it’s complaining about the damp. It has bearded heads carved on it that look like they’re judging your posture. Ideal place to rehearse an excuse for being late.

Explorer Tom Cross in Fassaroe is St Vallery’s, which sounds like a man who only ate porridge and complained about the weather. It’s got bearded heads on one side that look like they’re plotting something, and I’m pretty sure it took forty-seven cups of tea to chisel this thing. Snap one photo, then put the phone away and actually look.

Explorer Tom Bray Head has a cross on top and a railway clinging to the coast below. I would complain about the climb, but local people make it as a Good Friday procession, so I can manage a quieter pace. The headland reaches about 241 metres; its concrete cross went up in 1950. Some of the hill itself went away to help build Dún Laoghaire's pier, which is a fairly grand way to donate stone. Isambard Kingdom Brunel's railway took the cliff-side route below, then had to be diverted three times when the coast objected. I would have asked the rock for permission first, though it likely would have ignored me. A path from near Bray Esplanade climbs to the cross over rougher ground after the first steps. Check local trail conditions and stay back from drops. The view over town and sea is fine payment for a little honest effort.

Explorer Tom Carrickgollogan has a view of Dublin and Wicklow, but its strangest feature is a chimney that once worked a very long distance from the fire. The Ballycorus lead works built a flue about two kilometres long up the hill in 1836, letting metal in the fumes settle before smoke escaped. The granite chimney became so visible that sailors used it as a landmark. I would offer to sweep the flue with one enormous brush, and be told to go and read the plans. The hill rises 276 metres above Rathmichael and Shankill, with woodland and heath on top. Check the current public trail, stay out of ruined industrial structures and keep to safe paths. Find the chimney in the landscape; it is a remarkable monument to both invention and pollution.

Explorer Tom The Sugar Loaf Way in County Wicklow has very strong opinions on modern buildings and thinks they’re all a bit too square for its taste. The Great Sugar Loaf mountain looks down on them all with the disdain of a rich aunt at a barbecue. Stand still and listen, the wind tells it better than me.

Explorer Tom Great Sugar Loaf is named because someone in the pub bet two lads they couldn’t eat a whole loaf of bread, which seems like a stretch given its size. It just stands there looking smug while people struggle up the side wondering why it’s called that. Pop by and tell it it's looking well.

Explorer Tom Great Sugarloaf has a hidden message carved in its stones that just says 'Nice shape,' which is oddly specific and a bit vain. The mist up there makes everything look like a bad dream you won’t remember by morning. Ideal stop for a big stretch and a bigger yawn.

Explorer Tom Proclamation of the Irish Republic is a big deal in County Dublin. It’s a memorial to history changing. The picture looks nice from a distance. Get closer and listen to the echoes of old speeches.